Creating Natural Dialogue

Dialogue can be difficult.

I think the hardest part about it is making it seem natural. In all honesty, a writer is simply an individual that talks to him/herself. So when you’re just talking to yourself, how the hell can you create good dialogue? I took a gander on the internet to see if other people had tips, or stories to share. One link I found was pretty good. I usually stand against NaNoWriMo materials, but this one seemed pretty on par.

But, I didn’t read all of it. Couldn’t be bothered cuz I really didn’t give a shit, but you may. I don’t think I’m the master of dialogue. In fact, I fuckin’ hate writing it. It’s annoying, and it NEVER completely feels naturally to me, even when I’m reading the works of supposed “masters”.¬† Once again, I fucking HATE writing dialogue, but it’s something that must (should?) be done.

Dialogue usually comes in good moments. Or at least I’ve found that. I’ll have days where things just fit between two characters. I don’t have to think, and their personalities literally allow a conversation. But let’s be real, shall we? I’m simply talking to myself. So here’s something I try that actually works pretty well.

Literally, I speak dialogue out loud (when alone, or one the shitter hopefully alone) like I’m rehearsing a part for a play, or movie. I’m tellin’ you, it works for me. It works, and I’m gonna stick with it. Sometimes, I play out entire plot points in real time. Often in the car. I’ll choreograph fight scenes, plan conversation/confrontation, and see how they play out. Also, you have to know your characters.

That is one thing I can say with confidence. I know my characters very well, and when they surprise me, I’m delighted. These sudden left turns add definition to a character, and keeps readers interested while punishing them at the same time. Also, being an only child with OCD, my imagination is stronger than my concept of reality, and it helps me weave decent stories and dialogue. Fuck, I hate writing it so much I had to find a way to make it fun for myself.

What about you? How do you create dialogue? Plot? How do you move the story along?

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Writing and the Mind- Getting Back on Track

Finding the strength to write is like gripping sand.

Dragging myself out of the brine of complacency, I have lied to myself as to where I need to be, and what I need to do. The mind is a terrible thing. Not to waste, but a terrible thing. I have imagined and seen things in my mind’s eye that have irrevocably changed how I think. By a little bit. Every day. Completely changing, over and over again. That’s how all minds work. Not just mine. I’m not unique there.

I’ve been writing again. Who knows why the flow slows? Who knows why my stomach drops when I think about slamming down a few more words outta a keyboard? I don’t know. And I’ve spent too much time in my life trying to figure out a final reason, a final truth. It might as well be a holy grail for Christsake. Unattainable. Impossible. Unreachable. The mind is too complex for me, or for anyone else to fully understand.

I’ve discovered that forcing myself to write just a little bit begins the flow again. I haven’t been able to write for hours in a long time, but I can feel the inspiration coming. It happens like this every time I write a novel; I reach a point where I’m goin’ through the motions, and then I come back full force. I can feel it. It’s there. As for drawing and art, there isn’t much left now. Concept art for Blestemul I mean. In case you couldn’t tell, I’ve been clutching and clawing for exposure through posting pictures. Simply because the content of my blog has been shit lately.

Time to get back on track. I’ve written over 200 pages in this new book, and I’ll I’ve been doing is pissin’ and moanin’ about how hard writing is when I should be doing the thing I created this fuckin’ blog for. So here we go.

As of right now, I’ve been trying to develop character connections through difficult experiences and trust loops. Along with this, I’ve been changing my main character, twisting him into something the reader might not like. But I always have a plan when it comes to something like this. I won’t disappoint.

As for the beginning of the novel, it starts out simply enough. An alcoholic, washed-up “soldier” eeks out a living on some godforsaken shit hill town when an opportunity to redeem himself in the eyes of himself presents itself. Alistar, the main character, has given himself up to the demon, Blestemul, his symbiotic demon-pistol. Stuck inside his head, the demon goads, supports, and torments him as he strikes back at those who have held him down, and are continuing to destroy other peoples’ lives in plain view, under the guise of innocent righteousness.

I also tried to break stereotypes in this book. I created races that seem more bestial, but I developed them like any other “human” character. They have personalities, they wear clothes, cologne, they have opinions, jokes, likes, dislikes, loss and gain. It shows that a good person is a good person, and one can transcend any ignorance with a little effort.

Right now, one friend of Alistar’s, Kone, is missing. One recovered after a traumatic event that she (Jala) shared with AListar, and Spek is now looking for Kone inside of a primordial and very dangerous swamp. They are close to reaching the location of their main objective, and then the book should take off with aggression and grace.

That’s where I am. Now you know, and now I’ve said it. Wrote it. And I feel better. I’m giving you the writing you deserve to read. Am I god’s gift to the written word? NO. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have to try. Thanks for reading and sticking with my fury. I won’t disappoint you. I promise.

I AM A PUBLISHED AUTHOR MOTHERFUCKER

YES.

I did it. I fuckin’ did it. Geneslave is now available for a delicious 2.99 dollar price tag in the vast wonders of Kindlespace. I just uploaded the bastard now (04 June 2012: 16:47hrs), so it won’t be available for about 12-24 hours or so, but who cares? I got over the bullshit in my head, and I published my fuckin’ book!

I am not bragging. I am just ecstatic.

If you decide to buy my book, you will roughly pay 0.000025 cents a word. I did the math, bitch! Honestly? I don’t care if I make five fuckin’ dollars on this sonfabitch, it’s published, and I did it without the help of a formal, tangible copy publishing house, literary agent, independent editor, or lawyer. It’s copyrighted, protected, and READY to FUCKIN’ GO. Open your Kindle, and search for Geneslave. That’s it. You can also go on Amazon.com to purchase as well. AND you can get a muthafuckin’ KINDLE APP to read this bastard. Do it however you want!

In case you haven’t noticed yet, this isn’t about the money. Never was. Money is icing. This was me conquering the literary industry, and spitting in the faces of those who would shun my book because I didn’t have a shiny award, or because I didn’t know someone on the inside. And this isn’t just a victory for me! Oh no. This is a victory for real writers like me EVERYWHERE that has faced the same problems I have. The best part was it was EASY to upload this bastard! Easy! Formatting it was hard as Hell, but getting on Kindle was a cinch!

If you’re ready to publish, click this link. Once you set up an account to publish your book with Kindle, you just fill out a simple form and upload yer shit! It’s like starting up an e-mail account. I love it. I give a step by step guide on formatting and getting your book ready for Kindle in the archives of my blog if you need it by the way.

With that said, YOU. You can do this. You, the writer, the artist, the creative one, you can do this dammit, you can do this, and you can do this well! Get published! There is no more reasons as to why you can’t anymore. Your fate, no, a writer’s fate, is now something that can be controlled by the writer, like it should be. Start writing that masterpiece! Start formatting and publishing that manuscript that some ass sniffing literary agent wouldn’t accept. Publish that book that the publishing house wouldn’t print. Get out there and fucking write you ass off, and tell the whole goddamn world that I AM A WRITER, AND I EXIST.

It’s time to join the revolution.

Progress on Kindle and Concept Art

I’m back. Great vacation- got some good time with the lovely wife and some good times at a massive theme park. Enough of that, let’s get into the shit right away.

Before¬† post concept art, I want to tell you all something. I bit the progress bullet, stopped being a whiny bitch, and opened my Kindle account for selling my books. If you’re at this stage, you can click on this link. It was painless, and now? I can start uploading m’shit. And you’ll all be the first ones to know when I do. Setting up a Kindle publishing account is easy as fuck. It’s just like setting up an e-mail account. Also, make sure you have your social security card ready, too.

Alright, with that exciting (for me at least) announcement out of the way, I wanted to continue with the explanation of plasmatic weapons in TCoU:Blestemul. While I was forty thousand feet in the fuckin’ air, I came up with some pretty solid diagrams as to how actual rifle would look. The first picture (the one below) is an outdated version of what the weapon would look like. However, its parts are all current. You see, in Urth, there are bizarre new elements formed after the cataclysm. These elements allowed the technology for such energy weapons to exist (I will cover ALL the elements I “invented” in a later entry). Enough. Here’s the art:

These are the basic parts to what a standard E.A. rifle would look like. I didn’t think the look of the weapon felt right, though. It looked too…primitive. Too…fragile. Basic. I mean, pick an adjective it just don’look right. So, I tweaked it and came up with a final concept for a basic E.A. weapon found all over Urth. Take a look at this shit:

Much better. Here, I detailed the furniture of the weapon rather than the actual internal mechanisms n’ shit. A protruding barrel didn’t make any sense to me, along with a defined seating for the weapon’s guts. So, I made an all inclusive model that keeps everything contained, controlled, and monitored. I made it look more futuristic (for lack of a better term) to satisfy any sci-fi tech cravings I had at the time. I also included some specs on the weapon itself, like rate of fire, projectile effective range, and so-on.

Honestly? I’ve been trying to develop a competent weapon like this since I was 12. I am 26 now. Only recently did I find the real science and facts I needed to mutate and bend to my will. It ain’t easy being inside my head, and I don’t say that because I think I’m special or unique. I say that because I have O.C.D., or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Ideas, worries, thoughts, they are always smashing around in my skull, and the urge to constantly improve my fiction and make the ideas I present inside my work as plausible causes me to create something like this. Sometimes, I think talent is just another word for obsession. Do I consider myself talented? No. I’ve always seen myself as someone that loves the creative process so much, that I can’t stop doing it. Is that talent? Okay then. I’m talented. But I think a more appropriate term would be obsessed.

Alright then, another post down. I want FEEDBACK. You. Fucking. Tools. Speak up! Good and bad critique (as long as its constructive) will be read, considered, and responded to. Don’t be silent. Tell me I suck, or tell me I’m awesome, as long as you have an actual path of reasoning behind your opinion, I will not ignore it.

Anger, Shame, and Pain

Problems lately.

An excuse. A pathetic one nonetheless. Pain and shame are probably the two greatest motivating factors in my life, and I have had to deal with this up close and personally many times. I’ve been struggling with my writing for some time now. More than writer’s block, it is a will to fail that is pushing me down. I talk a LOT of shit on publishing companies, editors, agents, printers, everyone in the literary industry. But my biggest obstacle is, and always will be, myself.

I don’t want to complete my book.

I want to sit and look at it, disgusted at my own inability to complete and move forward. I get engrossed in side projects, blame my life outside of my book, fuckin’ name it. I want to rest on soiled laurels reeking of the past and my incredible ignorance. No matter who may fuck around with you in your life, you’ll always be standing in your own way. Always. You will find things out about yourself, you will change, you will die, you will be born, you will wish for death, pray for slaughter, everything. Meat is weak, will is strength.

—Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength Meat is weak, will is strength—

SAY IT. Repeat it in your head over and over, like a terrible mantra, a hideous, bloody mantra that drives itself deeper into your fucking brain until all that you are is infected and taken over by your mind. You body cannot exist without your mind, your soul, your will. Your soul can. Meat is weak.

I’ve been focusing too much on the fuckin’ meat. We’re all just shuffling bags of greasy beef, trying to live our meager lives. Meager, untilWE change them. I’ve had several rude awakenings in the last few weeks, and they’re all burning on my mind like a clothes iron, just waitin’ to come out the other side. I am ashamed of my own weakness and vulnerability. This brings anger, and finally, pain. I am furious with myself right now. I hate what I have started to let myself become, and now I’m on the road to change. My will is my power, and I am not allowing the meat to take over and make me weak.

Beat your body. Beat it up. Make it beg for you to stop, and then tell your mind to keep on going. You rlungs will burn, your muscles will cramp, your bones will crack, your eyes will rupture, your brain will liquefy, your blood with turn into thick ash and YOUR WILL IS ALL YOU WILL EVER HAVE. I WILL NOT LET MY MEAT PREVENT ME FROM WRITING MY BOOK. PUBLISHING. SELLING.

FEED. YOUR. WILL.

Your meat is already dead.

 

TCoU: Blestemul Concept Art for a Demon

How do?

TCoU: Blestemul, my next novel, is going along nicely so far. I’m at a little bit of a lull point in the story, you know where you have to build shit up before you bring the axe down? But hey. I’ll get through it, you’ll get through it, and then the good stuff will happen. Anyway, without revealing too much of the story, Blestemul is a very unique demon that shape shifts according to what instrument it can do the most damage with in conjunction with its chosen host (Alistar Crowne, the main character of TCoU:B in this case). It is a demon of pure rage and violence, but is surprisingly smart and sometimes supportive in times of need. Blestemul is what makes Alistar’s “quest” possible, which I will not reveal.

I went through a LOT of different concepts for this fuckin’ thing. I mean a lot. More than what you see here. I needed to get the perfect melding of beast and gun metal to make this thing look right. I wanted something sinister, but not completely without familiar qualities. I also wanted something that was much more than just an enchanted gun. If you’ve ever played the video games Shadowman, Devil May Cry, or Shadows of the Damned, I didn’t want this stylish weapon that looked cool and made a big racket. I wanted something that reflect a demon’s true form. Blestemul (which is Romanian forcurse) fit the bill. Also, if you played Shadows of the Damned, I didn’t copy the talking gun. In fact, I was quite pissed when I found my idea thrown out there already, but its my fault for not moving when I should have. Anyway, here’s one of three sketches I did for Blestemul:

I was having a little trouble with the overall form here. And Blestemul looked too…inorganic. So, I tried to change this up a bit and add more demon meat to the pistol’s furniture. I also removed the clip- it just didn’t fit into what I was trying to create. Here’s number two of three:

Now I have too much organic, and not enough metal. I was supremely frustrated at this point, and I’m pretty sure I took a break before I took another crack at it. If you’re an artist, there is nothing more frustrating when you’re trying to complete a piece than to watch it mutate into an image that was not in your head. Here’s the third and final picture, and Blestemul’s true form:

That’s what I’m talkin’ about. Here, I decided to add a gaping maw at the muzzle. Quite literally, this is where an odious and long tongue shoots out from under the weapon to grab, crush, and shove enemies and obstacles aside. If Blestemul really wants to get nasty, the demon reels in his victim, and the weapon’s mouth expands for a bone shattering chomp that is fatal and degrading. The tongue is not only a weapon. It is prehensile, meaning Alistar can using it like a grappling hook, and it can get “sniff” the air like a snake to see if there is anything of interest around. Also, it can be used to molest a target which saps the very life out of their bodies (if the abuse continues), reads their minds and memories, and makes them sick (Blestemul’s saliva is thick and yellowish green, like mucus) via slow poisoning. Symptoms include migraine, vomiting, fever, aches, severe hallucinations (auditory, visual, olfactory), and death if the dose is high enough.

Blestemul has a unique personality which is an ongoing development in progress. Many demons are stereotypically liars and deceivers. So is Blestemul, but he is also honest and supportive when he needs be. He is a tormentor, even to Alistar, as well as a valuable ally. He is a contradiction, constantly weaving all around him into a web of lies and truth, love and hate, anger and peace, that only he can read and understand. And let me tell you, it is FUN. To write as Blestemul.

Alright, that’s all for now I think. Comments? Questions? Lay em’ on me, you know I’ll answer. Got any characters you love to write for? Draw? Let me know.

Final Cover Preview: Geneslave

I finished it!

I was worried initially about how this cover would come out, but I am pleased. This is what the cover will look like when I finally upload this sucker to Kindle and get it ready for the market. Take a look:

I am very proud of this. I don’t care what anyone says. Doesn’t mean I don’t want feedback, but I am happy with this piece and how it will tie in with the novel as a whole. On standard sketchpad paper, I used HB pencil, 0.1mm black marker, and watercolors. Oh, and not the expensive shit. This was done on a budget. Goes to show you that you can make something you’re proud of with your own two hands and not have to abide by anyone’s rules. Does that mean what I do is right for you? No, of course not. Do whatever you want. But if you’re like me? There is something satisfying and vindictive about doing whatever the flying FUCK you want when it comes to creative control of your own work.

Enougha that shit. I don’t know when I’ll get it ready for Kindle- I’m shooting for this week. But when I do, you’ll be the first to hear about it. Oh, I may be posting stuff for Blestemul in between now and then, so stay turned for that too. Keep writing, signing, playing, drawing, painting, dancing, punching, eating, bathing, flipping, and fucking, do what you want and do it well. Just do it responsibly.

As always ALL forms of serious feedback is welcomed. I will respond to your comments.