Tag Archives: Geneslave

I AM A PUBLISHED AUTHOR MOTHERFUCKER

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YES.

I did it. I fuckin’ did it. Geneslave is now available for a delicious 2.99 dollar price tag in the vast wonders of Kindlespace. I just uploaded the bastard now (04 June 2012: 16:47hrs), so it won’t be available for about 12-24 hours or so, but who cares? I got over the bullshit in my head, and I published my fuckin’ book!

I am not bragging. I am just ecstatic.

If you decide to buy my book, you will roughly pay 0.000025 cents a word. I did the math, bitch! Honestly? I don’t care if I make five fuckin’ dollars on this sonfabitch, it’s published, and I did it without the help of a formal, tangible copy publishing house, literary agent, independent editor, or lawyer. It’s copyrighted, protected, and READY to FUCKIN’ GO. Open your Kindle, and search for Geneslave. That’s it. You can also go on Amazon.com to purchase as well. AND you can get a muthafuckin’ KINDLE APP to read this bastard. Do it however you want!

In case you haven’t noticed yet, this isn’t about the money. Never was. Money is icing. This was me conquering the literary industry, and spitting in the faces of those who would shun my book because I didn’t have a shiny award, or because I didn’t know someone on the inside. And this isn’t just a victory for me! Oh no. This is a victory for real writers like me EVERYWHERE that has faced the same problems I have. The best part was it was EASY to upload this bastard! Easy! Formatting it was hard as Hell, but getting on Kindle was a cinch!

If you’re ready to publish, click this link. Once you set up an account to publish your book with Kindle, you just fill out a simple form and upload yer shit! It’s like starting up an e-mail account. I love it. I give a step by step guide on formatting and getting your book ready for Kindle in the archives of my blog if you need it by the way.

With that said, YOU. You can do this. You, the writer, the artist, the creative one, you can do this dammit, you can do this, and you can do this well! Get published! There is no more reasons as to why you can’t anymore. Your fate, no, a writer’s fate, is now something that can be controlled by the writer, like it should be. Start writing that masterpiece! Start formatting and publishing that manuscript that some ass sniffing literary agent wouldn’t accept. Publish that book that the publishing house wouldn’t print. Get out there and fucking write you ass off, and tell the whole goddamn world that I AM A WRITER, AND I EXIST.

It’s time to join the revolution.

Final Cover Preview: Geneslave

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I finished it!

I was worried initially about how this cover would come out, but I am pleased. This is what the cover will look like when I finally upload this sucker to Kindle and get it ready for the market. Take a look:

I am very proud of this. I don’t care what anyone says. Doesn’t mean I don’t want feedback, but I am happy with this piece and how it will tie in with the novel as a whole. On standard sketchpad paper, I used HB pencil, 0.1mm black marker, and watercolors. Oh, and not the expensive shit. This was done on a budget. Goes to show you that you can make something you’re proud of with your own two hands and not have to abide by anyone’s rules. Does that mean what I do is right for you? No, of course not. Do whatever you want. But if you’re like me? There is something satisfying and vindictive about doing whatever the flying FUCK you want when it comes to creative control of your own work.

Enougha that shit. I don’t know when I’ll get it ready for Kindle- I’m shooting for this week. But when I do, you’ll be the first to hear about it. Oh, I may be posting stuff for Blestemul in between now and then, so stay turned for that too. Keep writing, signing, playing, drawing, painting, dancing, punching, eating, bathing, flipping, and fucking, do what you want and do it well. Just do it responsibly.

As always ALL forms of serious feedback is welcomed. I will respond to your comments.

Cover Art: Geneslave Part 2

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Hello there again!

Geneslave’s cover is almost complete. I should be able to finish this bastard over the weekend. Here is what I have so far:

Alright, this is stage two of the cover process. I decided to add some ink into this to make the lines more defined. I love you, 0.1mm markers. Anyway, this is where I am. If you have any questions on what the cover means, leave a comment. I’ll answer. Please tell me what you think and why- good and bad.

Cover Art: Geneslave

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Hello again.

My other job was calling, and if I didn’t answer, then well. I’d be fucked. But, you aren’t reading this for excuses, and I shall not give them to you. If you’ve been wondering why I haven’t pulled the trigger on Geneslave, it’s not because I’ve lost my nerve. Quite the opposite, actually. I’ve been developing a cover for the book that I would upload to the document when I Kindlefy it and get her ready for the market. I have a habit of rushing into things that I am excited about, and when I look back, I realize that things are missing. So. My wife suggested the development of a cover. At first, I was resistant. I wanted to put Geneslave out and I wanted to put it outnow. But, she helped me calm myself and look at the bigger picture. I thought about doing a cover, but I didn’t want to spend the time on it. Now, I’m glad I did. Here’s what I have so far, and I’ll keep posting the cover as I work on it more and complete it.


I know what you’re thinking. This motherfucker needs to hire an illustrator. And you’re right. But, the first and foremost problem is I can’t afford one. And I need one that will have the same level of passion for Geneslave as I do, and that’s hard to find free. That, and I’m starting to see why it’s important for me to draw the cover myself. This entire endeavor has mostly been under my steam. A good 95% of it if not more, and you know what?I don’t want someone else drawing the cover to my first published work. So whether it sucks the dick, or blows the gods, I’m making my own cover. What about you?

Do you illustrate? Would you illustrate a work you’ve created? Do you think about the cover art to your novel? Let me know, I’d like to hear about it.

Big Update for the New Year

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It has been awhile, but it was all worth it.

The holidays…oh boy. You know how those go, so I’m not going to bore any of you with that shit. Instead, I am going to describe the new steps that I have started on Geneslave, and my new book. As you may have deduced, I don’t have a cover for my book, Geneslave. I dabble in art, and my wife suggested that I draw one. I am not a professional artist, but I do like to do abstract shit. So that’s what I am going to do. Also, I am not chickening out on publishing my book. I’ve re-adjusted my strategy.

My wife has good connections. Period. I don’t have shit. Honestly, I’ve never liked networking. I feel as though a business relationship can’t be forced, it must come naturally. Me being skeptical, judgmental, and jaded, I don’t always give a fair chance where a fair chance is due. My wife, however, does. And through he connections and astounding personality, she has some ideas that I may, or may not go with.

I love her cover idea. I am all over that. But she has some other ideas that she wants to pitch to me that I would be very open to. She is…very smart in a way that I can’t understand. That makes her invaluable as a life partner, and in marketing. Anyway, enough about my awesome wife.

The bottom line is I have a habit of getting SO excited about something, I rush it. I looked closely at Geneslave, and I love the piece too much to rush it. I am going to make sure this fuckin’ thing is as perfect as it can get before I put it out on the market. Hopefully, my impatience won’t get the better of me. I haven’t given up, I  haven’t become lax about the blog. I am still here, still writing, and still moving forward. Speaking of which…

I am 40 pages into writing my new book. This is the largest endeavor I have ever undertaken from a writer’s point of view. I have literally fabricated a world out of thin air by changing the one I already live on. Very soon, I will have a SHIT TON of concept art for you to look at, and I will talk more about my creative process and what works for me as a writer.

Don’t think I left. There is no way in Hell that I’m givin’ up now, and neither should you. Are you writing something? Wrote something? Lemmie know, let’s talk a little about it. What how much you reveal, though. I don’t want your ideas getting stolen by some tool lookin’ to make a quick buck.

Publishing on Kindle: The Beginning

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Okay! I got all the shit ready to go my friends, and hopefully, by the end of this week, my book will officially be on Kindle, ready to purchase.

The lowdown is you sign up for a Kindle account, and just upload your damn book in an accepted file format and away you go. Here is the step by step guide that I found on the Amazon/Kindle website: Guide Ahoy!. After that, you must decide how much you’re going to charge for this bad boy. Me? I’m keepin’ it cheap. I want to sell this book for 3.00 USD. I think that is pretty damn fair for a 118,000 word novel (no I am NOT bragging). Here’s a price guide.

I want people to be able to get my book at a modest price. If they have a Kindle, then they can afford three bucks, you know? After I get it uploaded, I’m going to market the book. That’s what I wanted to touch on today. I have many ideas, but I have a few in practice that work well. Here are some of the things I am doing:

1. Get a website with your registered name. Mine is http://www.thedisfigured.com. Not wordpress.com/thedisfigured, or any silly shit like that. Pay for it, and do it. I chose the blog format for how I want to contact my readers/peers. You can do whatever you want.

2. Get a twitter account and update it. A LOT. Here’s mine: Twitter! Decide what type of stuff you want to tweet about. I like to comment on current issues as well as helping unknown revolutionaries like ourselves get recognized (I’m no celebrity. I’m operating under the principle every little bit helps). I also tweet about writing tips, publishing tips, social media tips. Don’t follow my path. Forge your own! You have the power to create whatever you want.

3. Get a Facebook page linked to a profile. Here’s mine: Facebook! I use it as an outlet for updates on the blog, or linking to other pages that are involved in my cause/industry. Be available. People want to know what you’re doing, and how often you’re doing it. Deliver it to them as much as you’re comfortable with.

That’s a good starting point. I’ll upload another blog entry once my book is ready for sale. Get motivated! Finish/start that novel!

JOIN THE REVOLUTION

The Finished Product: Geneslave Ready for Kindle

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It went VERY well. I am so pleased, I don’t even know what to do with myself. I replaced what I needed to replace, and I made the text look all shiny. I feel like such a big boy!

Anyway, the next step from here is uploading this mutha to Kindle so I can unleash my creation u’pont the world. Then, the marketing. I can’t just sit back and wait for people to by my book. I have to put the word out, and make people know that I exist. Which is exactly what I have been doing WAAAAAY before I even started to convert my lowly word document into HTML.

I won’t get into marketing now, however. It’s not time yet. I’m going to start looking as to how to upload, how I get paid, and how people will buy my creations. My plan is to make it affordable, so that anyone with a Kindle (I know this sounds funny- if you got the dough for a Kindle, you can probably buy a hardcover, but fuck it) can buy it. I’m not gonna jack the price up to $10.99, or any shit like that. Well, at least I don’t want to. I don’t know what Kindle can do yet, but I want to keep it low cost.

I plan to make reading fun again, fun for everyone. I feel that the writing industry has been…poisoned as of late, and I plan on being the antidote. What about you? Are you poison?

It was rhetorical, don’t cry. When I get further in this process, you are DAMN straight that I will post my process step by step as much as I can. Start cleanin’ up your manuscripts you mother fuckers.

It’s time to get published.

Final Formatting Tricks for Kindle

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Phew.

Alright, after calming down from my last tirade, Geneslave looks pretty good right  now. I just finished formatting it for Kindle, so we’ll see how that goes. I am actually afraid to put all that hard work into Kindle Previewer to see it fucked up right now, so I’m going to wait. Get pissed if you want, that’s what I’m doing.

So far, I’ve read my book…five times, editing each time. I don’t want you to be frustrated, but I want you to work hard on your novel. Here are some formatting tips I’ve learned from Paul Salvette, the guy that did those Youtube videos I posted in my previous entry (23 November 2011). First, turn on all editing marks. You know, where it shows you all the tabs, paragraphs, spaces. All that shit. The button, if it’s on your word processor, typically looks like a paragraph mark.

Then, select your ENTIRE text and then use the REPLACE function on your processor. Next to find what, you’ll have to find the symbol for a manually entered tab character. I think Salvette mentions it in one of his videos. Find it yourself man. If you’re too lazy, you have no business writing and entire fuckin’ book. Anyway, just leave the REPLACE WITH section blank to delete them all. They look like arrows on the document, the manual tabs.

Next, re-select your entire document again, and use the tab stop at the top of your word processor’s ruler. It’s the top minature arrow on the ruler. Put that sucker on the half-way mark between no inches, and 1 inch. Now, you’re document is indented the big boy way, and Kindle won’t cry about the format when you convert it.

Return to your REPLACE function is your word processor (god bless the kind soul that put this function in). Delete ALL manual page breaks (same method as above) and start the document from fresh, putting page breaks in-between the title page, the copyright page, the T.O.C. (if you have one) and in-between chapters, sections, or whatever. ALWAYS use a manual page break when starting a new chapter, or section, or whatever format your book has.

Finally, do one more proofread of your WHOLE novel and delete any funny tabs, or double returns between paragraphs.

I did all of that in about…an hour and twenty minutes. I already proofread the thing, that took HOURS. But the final touches really don’t take that long. So. I’m going to go and look at it in the Kindle Previewer tomorrow and see what comes out.

It should be pretty obvious if it was good or bad if you look at my next entry’s title.

Kindle Formatting Frustrations

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I have never run into a bigger load of fuckin’ horsehshit in my entire life.

Formatting my cocksuckin’ book for muthafuckin’ Kindle has been as joyful as popping hemroids with a flamin’ needle and then jamming said needle into the tip of my cock and blowing my nose into my own ass. It’s fuckin’ unbelievable all the shit you have to go through to get this motherfucker published. It’s insane. Sure, it’s easy to upload the god damn file to Kindle. But. You gotta format that motherfucker first.

Fortunately, there are some kind souls out there that have posted guides. You can find a whole host of them on YouTube. Here are just a few: Part One, Part Two, Part Three (thanks Paul Salvette!).

I didn’t know that I had to learn HTML, and CSS, and WEEWEE5, and DICKSHIT8-2.0. Turns out I did. I’m not giving up, though. Oh no. No sir. Not fuckin’ givin’ this shit up. It has become waaaaaaaaaaaaay too personal for me to walk away now.

Oh, things try to stop me. This keyboard, for instance? I have to rail the FUCK out of the spacebar to insure that I get a space between my words. My hard drive? If I touch it, it disconnects and reconnects. Lotsa shit like that happens, but I am not stopping. No. No fuckin’ way.

I don’t givea good flopping fuck what shit this whole process throws at me. I’ll deal with it all. I was excited to get my book on Kindle post haste, but it turns out I have a VERY long way to go. I’m going to juggle publishin’ my shit, and update this fuckin’ blog with the new book I’m writing. I will try an keep myself from punching my dick through my computer monitor in sheer fuckin’ rage while slamming my own fist into my ass because I hate m’damn self. Stay with me motherfuckers, cuz’ it’s gonna get a whole lot FUNNIER from here on out.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

imad

My Amateur’s Guide to Publishing on Kindle

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Wheeeeee!

Alright, so I’ve started to convert my book (Geneslave) to a readable format for Kindle. I’m still working out the kinks, but I will be able to upload it and sell it very soon. I’m going to list this shit step by step as best I can. If you have questions, ask me. I will answer them the best I can. Anyway, here’s what I did.

Before you do anything, you gotta make sure that your book will even look right on a Kindle. Go to this webpage. It will tell you what it has to look like. I did what it told me to do by eliminating headers and footers, having the correct title page and copyright page (go to this link to find out what a proper copyright page should look like. Thank you Camilla Chafer!). Then, you gotta make sure you’re using automatic indents that your word processor has. You can’t use tab, or for the love of SHIT do NOT use manual spacing. It looks terrible.

Now that your word file is all Kindlefied, you must convert it to a wepage format so Mobipocket can convert it to a file that Kindle can understand. I’ll explain what Mobipocket is later. In your word processor, you must save the file as: WEBPAGE, FILTERED. It’s best if you save it to your desktop so you know where it is easily. That’s what I did. With that ready, it’s time to download Mobipocket to get your book ready.

Go to this webpage to download Mobipocket, which is a free program that will convert your book into a file type that Kindle can utilize. Once you have it installed on your computer, open it on up. Remember the first webpage I directed you to? Scroll down. It has ALL the instructions you need to build your book. Did you follow the instructions? Good.

Once build, sit on your new creation. You gotta download one more program here. Make sure you download the file under the title: Download Kindle Previewer 1.61. I picked the wrong one by accident and I had to open command prompts, cast spells, shoot lasers, it was a fuckin’ disaster.

This program is made so you can take a look at your book’s presentation when it’s on Kindle and ready to be purchased. Once again, go to the first webpage link I posted in this blog  to find out how to use the Kindle Previewer. If it looks good…well I don’t know. Mine looked like shit. HA!

I’m going to have to re-do the way my book looks a little bit in order to make it look better on Kindle. I’ll definitely post my steps, struggles, and triumphs so you don’t have to face them. If you know a 100% surefire way to make a book look good on Kindle, PLEASE. Do not keep these secrets to yourself. Share them here. I will publish it on the blog and give you credit.

Stay right here! I’m so CLOSE!

How close are you?