Tag Archives: novel

Concept Art- Groar TCoU: Blestemul

by in The Chronicles of Urth: Blestemul and tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

I saved one of the best for last. My favorite race in this book, the Groar. These massive walls of muscle look like mindless beasts, and some of them are. But what I like the most about them is their ability to channel their raw, unbridled power into almost any endeavor they choose. Behold the mighty Groar:

Now we’re talkin’.

Truth be told, I’ve always been drawn to beings of incredible strength, whether physical, mental, spiritual, etc. so this was a natural next step in character development for me and for TCoU: Blestemul. I’m not quite sure what I was thinking when I made this race, but…I can’t think of anything witty to say. Let’s just get into the descriptions n’ shit.

Groar Biology:

Groar males have pronounced manes that are often shaped into elaborate beards and hairstyles, while female manes are far less grandiose. It is difficult to tell between Groar males and females if it wasn’t for the species being mammals: female groars have breasts. Ranging in 7 to 9 feet tall, Groars range in 450-650 pounds sporting massive tusks and grand crowns of spines high on the forehead, where a singular, massive horn protrudes. You guessed it- the bigger and thicker the horn, the more the ladies love em’, the same going for Groar males when selecting a female mate. Skin color ranges to light olive, to a deep forest green with splotches of yellow, brown, and black flecks seen across the board.

Strict carnivores, Groars sport retractable claws and a tough hide to protect them when hunting prey many times their size. They are immensely strong and are almost indefatigable- they have deep reserves of stamina that pour forth when in combat, or stressful situations. Their brains are mostly medulla, stretching back down into the spinal column and along the spinal cord, protected by a case of dense bones.

Voracious eaters, Groars can easily consume half their weight in meat in one sitting. Everything from a kill is consumed, right down to the bone. They have a pair of stomachs to break down hard to digest foods (bone, hair, feathers) into useable energy. Groar hearts are also located on the right sides of their chest opposed to the left like most humanoid races in Urth. As for lifespans, Groar stay spry and powerful well into their senior years. An average Groar rarely exceeds 80 years in age. Groar females give live birth, and feed with milk like any other mammal.

Groar Psychology, Society, and Personality:

Violence is a way of life when it comes to being a Groar. They love confrontation and bloodshed, but not every fight has to be to the death. They relish combat of any kind, physical, mental, verbal, or sexual. They favor strength opposed to finesse, spite opposed to logic. Groars are not savage, however. They only appear so because violence is socially acceptable, along with nudity and sexual acts. An uneducated Groar is  shunned almost as badly as a weak or sickly one. They are slow to move and quick to learn, often studying opponents and daily obstacles with acute attention. They don’t mind getting hurt or humiliated it’s all a learning experience to a Groar. They have almost no concept of shame, or humility.

Groar personalities range just as much as human personalities do. One can encounter a Groar that loves to tell jokes while having sex and strangling an opponent, and in the same moment, meet one that is writing poetry while he masturbates and gnaws on a human skull to get at the brains. No matter how jovial, coarse, clam, excitable or elated they are, an undercurrent of incredible violence is present in everything they do. Most Groar societies revere high art and poetry, especially sculpture. They mix violence, war, and fighting with art, creating a piece that moves the soul and enrages the heart.In that same vein, Groars adore hair dyes, and use a variety of colors to distinguish themselves in society, whether it be rank, a particular profession they practice, or number of mates they’ve bedded. They also use tattoos and jewelry to the same effect, all to distinguish and identify themselves to themselves and other Groars.

cannibalism is common in Groar society, using it as a means of burying their dead. Family members, or close friends, will consume the dead Groar (if applicable) in a grand feast, celebrating the individual’s life and deeds. Groars are polygamous with both genders. Everyone that is of sexual maturity is fair game, including members of their own family, since Groar genes mutate to accommodate incestual reproduction to prevent deformities and deficiencies in the produced child. Groar families share everything without jealousy and are fiercely devoted to one another.

Every Groar has a “favored” mate, and no matter how many others they breed with, they will never leave the side of their one true love.  In all this chaos, Groars thrive, and have advanced modern societies of their own. They also integrate into other societies, but must mind their manners. Some Groars are tribal, and choose to live away from modern lands, but they are not secular. Most outside Groar tribes accept non-Groar visitors and outside Groars alike with open arms.

Most.

Groars believe in the perfect individual: very smart, AND very strong. These types of rare individuals lead Groar society, and “lower” Groars follow their instructions to a “T”. If a leader weakens, they have an alternative. Step down and be honored, or prove your strength against successors and be idolized. Both options are admirable, and retired Groars often are sources of obtuse wisdom that current leaders use in governing and improving Groar society.

See? These guys are much more than muscles, fangs, and rage. Stay tuned for more shit.

Concept Art- Calthag TCoU: Blestemul

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Hello once more.

It’s been awhile, but I haven’t’ forgotten. Or given up. Pick one, why not? Anyway, today’s entry is a description of yet another race in TCoU: Blestemul. These guys…are strange. I’m not really sure what I had in mind when I started to create them. I think I started drawing a shoulder, and then the Calthag appeared out of it. They are a strange race, strange but unique. Enough bullshit. Here’s a picture:

Weird lil’ bastard, huh? Well, time to explain myself and why I created such a thing.

Calthag Biology

Calthag look like weak husks of meat and hair. And in many aspects, they are. But there is a reason for this. Calthag don’t need bodies to exist. As you can see above, the Calthag’s body is withered and atrophied, but he is hovering above the ground. You guessed it- strong minds, weak bodies. Each Calthag has a unique psychic ability, typically only being gifted with one. Calthag leaders are individuals that are gifted with multiple psychic talents, or have extremely powerful mastery in a talent, like a psychic that borderlines on prophetic, or a telekinetic that can rip a house out of its very foundation. Strict herbivores, Calthag typically use individuals with telekinetic talents to manipulate the world around them. Others can directly influence plant growth and intelligence. Muscle and organ function exist on the most basic of levels. Often, Calthag jaws aren’t strong enough to open and close widely, so vegetable pastes are created with strong herbs, spices, and salts added to enhance flavor. Rarely over 4 feet tall, Calthag bodies are emaciated and sickly grey, but this has nothing to do with the health of the individual. They can live well past 100 years of age.

All Calthag are blind and deaf, using their powerful minds to feel the world around them, and generate pictures of their surroundings in their minds by taking bits and pieces from outside minds that “leak” into theirs. Calthag willpower and intelligence are so high, that they often “pull” thoughts, memories, sensations, etc. from other organisms, like a strong psychic magnet. All Calthag also have the ability to speak into the minds of others, along with reading them. Most Calthag are very polite, and learn to control this aspect of their mind early on. They have complete mastery of both left and right sides of the brain, allowing them to compose a masterful symphony, or crunch the numbers in a quantum physics equation with equal ease.

They are pseudo-amphibious, meaning they breathe through their skin and lay/fertilize eggs in water. Calthag do not need to keep their skin moist, however, and the water stage of life ends as soon as the Calthag can breathe outside of water. Calthag never take husbands or wives, believing that it breeds ignorance when individuals cannot share everything with one another.  They are closely connected to nature, and able to understand and communicate with all living organisms on a level that no other organism can ever attain.

Calthag Personality, Psychology, and Culture

Most Calthag are nature worshipers, and are very non-confrontational. Peaceful and empathetic, Calthag are powerful healers that can combine the unerring infinite logic of a genius brain with the deep nurturing instincts and empathy associated with healers. They are talented doctors and pharmacists, and can perform complex surgeries and procedures without ever using their hands.  They are also talents psychologists and therapists because they can dive into their patients’ minds and understand on a personal level what they are going thorough while still maintaining an objective view of the situation. Calthag doctors, healers, psychologists, etc are in high demand, and the greedy ones can often charge whatever they want for their services and medicines.

Calthag share almost everything, and are benevolent by nature. Fighting is extraordinarily rare, and often, a hostile person or creature is simply pinned down, or calmed via their powerful psychic abilities. Although Calthag have leaders, no-one is excluded from society save criminals and the gluttonous. Calthag build grand structures that twist and turn upon themselves which force the thoughts of others to be repelled, and help them amplify their own. Think of it like a psychic condom.

Calthag may seem naive to others because of their giving nature, but they know exactly what they, and what you, are going to do before you even do it. They don’t evne need to read your mind. Vessels of creation and benevolence, Calthag rarely, if ever, design weapons. They focus on the development of items to benefit Urth itself, such as powerful new medicines, equipment, and even works of art. They believe they were charged at the time of the Cataclsym to help rebuild and revitalize the population of Urth through the deletion of ignornace, using their incredible gifts to educate others whenever they can.

Okay, one down a few more to go. Stay tuned for more awesome shit. BYE BYE!

Concept Art- Bilks TCoU: Blestemul

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What, you thought I was a one trick pony? Naw, son I got more concept art. Lots more. Another race I created in The Chronicles of Urth: Blestemul was completely random: it was literally a stream of consciousness drawing that I ran wild with. When I draw characters, I keep a general idea in my mind of how I want them to look. Then, I draw a few lines, some basic anatomy, and HIYAH character time. The creature below this paragraph is a Bilk, and boy. They were a lot of fun to cook up:

Cool, huh? Looks like a cross between a mutant horse, a bodybuilder, and a rhinoceros. These fuckers are cool- they have. Well. I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? Each time I describe a race in my book, I’ll have a similar layout. I’ll describe their biology, and then go into more about cutlure and interaction. With that said, here’s some more info on the Bilk.

Bilk Biology

Bilks stand roughly 5 feet to 6 and a half feet tall with main arms extended. Typically, their center torso and hoof are lifted about a foot off the ground when they lock their elbows. They are dense walls of muscle; Bilks range between 350lbs to 515lbs as an adult. Bilks are also psuedoreptilian, meaning that their body can utilize gathered heat in their metabolism and use calories to keep them warm and functional, but they will have to stop and warm themselves eventually, much like a snake. They cannot overheat however, but they can freeze to death if adequate warmth and food cannot be attained.

Their third arm is far from vestigial, and not only is it functional, it covers the Bilk’s cloachea, where it reproduces and releases waste. Often they’re spine pushes up large spiky plates out of the flesh around adulthood which is between 10 and 15 years old. They are short lived- most Bilks don’t make it past 60 and die of old age.  Skin color ranges from several shades of rich reds and ashy charcoal, all the way to black.

They lay eggs, but the fetus is alive inside before they are laid, incubated in the female Bilk’s womb before she lets them loose. When out of the womb, it takes roughly a week for the hatchlings to emerge. Coitus is achieved through temperature rather than friction. Two Bilks press their third arms together, entwining hands and locking their genitals together. Orgasm is achieved by both Bilks at roughly 104 degrees Fahrenheit.

Being voracious omnivores, they eat anything that they can fit into their mouths and crush with their jaws. They have two rows of teeth- the front are sharp and pointed, the second row is slightly shorter and completely blunt.

Bilk Culture and Society

Bilks are intense, aggressive, and very strict. But, they are extremely polite and jovial, their moods being dictated by their fervor. They are quick to anger, and quick to calm. They are extroverted, and very few Bilk individuals are sullen, or isolated. They mingle with other races easily, often using their powerful lightswitch personalities to win over via charisma, or intimidation. They are not savage however. Even with their incredible strength and fortitude, they are civilized and well-read. Ignorance is as despised as weakness in Bilk society, and Bilks that don’t measure up are ostracised.

Bilks have no concept of shame or honor, rather guided by an infallible moral code instilled in the them at birth. Bilks who do not follow the codes to a “T” are considered lazy, weak, and undisciplined. Bilk leaders and military commanders alike are calculating, ruthless, and absolutely obsessed with victory in battle, whether in politics, arguments, or war.

Not trusting the weaponry and technology of other races, Bilks are adept at creating powerful guns, vehicles, gadgets, and numerous other inventions to get the job done to their standard, which is always high. There is not written code for a Bilk, no tenets to follow. It is an internal moral compass that guides them, and they are unable to share this with other races simply because the concept is too alien to understand. Unless you’re a Bilk, of course.

Bilk pairs mate for life, and infidelity is often met with savage violence and infanticide. Pairs will stay each other until death, and it is not because of a traditional, easy to understand emotion like love. A favorite Bilk saying is, “anything worth achieving must be achieved without error or vacillation.” Basically, if you’re gonna do some shit, do it right and don’t fuck around.

Whadaya think? Let me know, I’d be happy to hear it.

 

A Sample Chapter and MORE- TCoU: Blestmul

by in The Chronicles of Urth: Blestemul and tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Well, hello there.

As you may or may not know, I have been writing my 4th book, The Chronicles of Urth: Blestemul. This is my most massive undertaking, and I have never been happier living and writing in a world that I have created. Okay, so before we get into the concept art I wanted to post for this, I am laying down the prologue so you can understand what happens in the book, and what I’m talking about. Here’s a sample torn right from the word document:

Prologue:

Humans are stupid. In fact, they’re fucking morons. Inquisitive, sadistic, childish morons. At the best, they are gallant inventors, adventurers, creators, and healers. At worst, they are destructive, ignorant, arrogant, useless parasites. Humans become more and more xenophobic and secular by the decade, and their quest for knowledge of how to kill each other was always going to lead to cataclysm. And it did, in the year 2050.

It wasn’t a nuclear war. Wasn’t even a war to begin with. Mount Everest. Biggest fuckin’ thing on the planet. Moronic humans would climb that wretched hunk of rock and bitch and moan when they would die on it, surprised of their fate. It was only a matter of time before they discovered the mountain’s secret. A door, more specifically, was found. Barely larger than a doggie door, but there none the less. With curiosity peaked and the group’s findings made public, it wasn’t long before more humans came.

Further investigation revealed that the “door” was some kind of lock into a massive chamber that lay beyond. Excavation began, and soon Everest revealed its secret: the mountain isn’t a natural structure. It also wasn’t man made.

Massive in scope, the interior of Everest sprawled through that tiny trap door, with extraordinarily sophisticated machinery inside. Still operational, buzzing and humming. It was vacant, and it had looked as if nothing was living there. Fortunately, whoever built this structure kept a journal, and revealed the secrets of eons upon eons of life on Earth.

Facts, logs, data, everything was listed, everything since Earth formed, and the log ended in 2011. Apparently, whoever created this structure could pierce the mind of those how used it, and auto-translated itself to whatever form of communication the user was fluent in, whether it was ancient Sumerian, or the facial gestures and tail flicks of a dog. Further study revealed that the beings that made Everest where actually aliens that would introduce the process of life to an otherwise barren planet, regulating it’s every step of development. This race chose Earth, using powerful technologies to move the planet to just the right spot in the solar system, essentially moving every other planet along with it.

So powerful was this race that they monitored all life on the planet, inventing species, controlling weather formations, natural disasters, helping species die out (like the dinosaurs) and helping species thrive (like humans). It even had its own instruction manual, and literally told the user how to be a god on Earth. These aliens believed in a greater good, as said their religion, that they were responsible for creating and taking care of life, searching the solar system for ripe planets to develop and nourish.

Further study revealed that they introduced these ideals to groups of humans all at the same time in different places of the earth, hoping that they would understand the capacity for creation and life. Hoping that they too would be guardians and creators themselves. They didn’t.

Humans formulated religions everywhere, and as the alien’s god introduced messiahs, prophets, saints, so on and so forth, this overload forced humans to miss the overall view. Instead, they fought over these ideals, and eventually, where the log ends, the aliens asked for forgiveness from their god, simply called Good, and abandoned Earth.

Like the idiots they are, humans fought over control of the facility. America fought Russia, who fought China, which fought Great Britain, and so on and so forth, almost heralding in the third world war. However, something happened as humans tried to seize control of the command center. An alarm was triggered, loud and terrible, and Everest collapsed on itself. This released a massive wave of energy that completely warped Earth. Basically, it was like hitting reset button on a planet, and then dropping it into an evolutionary blender stuck in overdrive.

The aliens basically created a self destruct that forced the planet into a state of re-evolution. Instead of destroying Earth, the aliens wanted life to have a chance to start all over again. It didn’t wipe the trace of humanity and all its records.  The aliens simply restarted it. Without their help. Without their influence.

Now spelled Urth after the Cataclysm, the planet is in the clutches of an evolutionary oxymoron that stabilized after roughly 3000 years of accelerated change. Life re-stabilized in roughly 2000 years, and after a mere 1500, intelligent races now roam Urth, developing incredible technologies with new materials and old teachings, living and dealing with this new, chaotic planet. Humans, of course, are the most prolific and shortest lived.

The old species that survived eked out a living (humans among them of course) and found niches, surviving and adapting even as Earth became Urth right under their feet. Humans, now seen as wise sages, herald in a new era of light and creation, driven by wisdom and….I can’t even finish that. Humans didn’t learn shit, and those that did went back doing the same garbage they did before.

Only this time, there is no reset. Humans learn from the past, true. We started recording history again, failures, successes, making records, creating technologies based off of old ones, studying old sciences and making new experiments. However, we do not learn lessons. We only seek to advance what we already have, and now species clash, come together, and survive across desert plains with patches of rainforest, massive ice formations with bubbling magma, lush, tropical ice flows, random storms in the middle of mutated swamps, rocky tundra, volcanic grasslands, hurricanes among cryo-volcanoes without rain. Saltwater now a rarity, the entire planet almost completely covered in a mega-Pangaea with massive freshwater oceans. Constant climate change, constant weather changes, constant landscape changes, constant ecological contradictions, but life still finds a way to thrive. To survive.

Welcome to Urth, motherfucker.

I know, right?! WHEEEE!

Anyway, now you have a better understand of what has happened to our happy lil’ planet before humans royally fucked it  up (sounds familiar?). I created several main races that the forced evolution of the Cataclysm generated, using the basic human blueprint. The first race I created were the Incub:

Cool, huh? Alright, like I promised before, I wanted this blog not only to be a resource for writers like me, but I wanted to give readers a chance to get immersed in fiction and actually see what an author (me) goes through to create a novel. Me? I like concept art. And back story, which is rare to get in a novel without using a shitty plot device. So, that’s why I’m writing back story here, on the blog. So, if you read my book when it comes out, you can directly view, and communicate with me so I can elaborate on or clear up any questions that you may have. See? Cool.

Incub Biology

Incubs are enigmatic, but not mysterious. They are mammals: females have breasts like human women. They lack an abundance of body hair. Ranging from 170lbs to 220lbs on average, they stand no taller than 6 feet in most instances. Their lifespans typically do not exceed 110 years, reaching sexual maturity at 20-25 years of age. Their skin range from light blue to a rich, deep navy. The always have one eye, and lack two basic facial features. A nose, and a mouth. But. They are not hindered by this at all. Instead of a nose to pick up scents, they have super sensitive hairs on the tips of their ears. These gather particles of the surrounding environment and input the data as scent in the Incub’s brain.

As for a mouth, they don’t have one. They instead have a unique, and impossibly intricate voice box that they push air through to make a hum, which they form into words (the language of their choice) using said voice box and a sophisticated internal tongue which move through the system of bones and tissue inside the voice box. Breathing is achieved with lungs, but not through a mouth and nose (obviously). Trillions of microscopic pores dot the Incub’s face and under the chin, allowing air to pass through via lung control and system autonomous pore control.

Eating like a starfish, Incubs have a seam on their abdominal wall that is control much like a mouth. They throw their stomachs on their food, where it is held in the stomach which is lined with billions of taste buds, far more sensitive than a human tongue. Incubs taste food for hours as their body digests it, savoring each portion of the food as it is digested and pushed through the system. Incub stomach acids are completely clear and have no flavor. Digested food passes through the Incub just like any other mammal.

They have three fingers on each hand, but five toes on each foot. Their hands sport retractable claws which are quite sharp and can extend out to 3” in length. Also, on the left arm, an Incub has a poisonous stinger that has a cocktail of poisons, much like a snake. This venom causes paralysis in small doses, and internal hemorrhaging and brain death in large doses. This stinger is retractable. When refined, Incub venom can be dried and insufflated, causing intense hallucinations and inducing a dopamine soaked pleasure ride lasting for hours. Often, when a dose of this drug is taken, several powerful orgasms occur in the subject instantaneously.

Incub Culture and Personality

Incubs are somewhat furtive by nature, but not surly or gruff. They have a complex system of social intricacies involving honor, pride, and strength. They are a very active race- never happy to sit and stagnate. Athletic, but far from mindlessly violent, Incub sporting events are jovial and serious at the same time. Feats of great strength, endurance, or mental aptitude are all equally praised and admired. Incub scholars are very intelligent, and completely devoted to whatever school of study they adhere to. They are dedicated, fastidious, and powerful, but can be gentle, empathetic and philanthropic.

Incub men are considered feminine if they get involved in fighting. Considered strictly women’s work, and an Incub army is almost completely comprised of women. Incub men are typically skills in martial arts and gunplay, but almost never engage in combat outside of defending themselves or their families. Petty disputes are often fought with wits by both genders, and will never resort to violence unless attacked first. Not all Incubs adhere to their strict moral and social guidelines after all. Men are very content in defending and taking care of the family while female Incub work and fight, but it is typicaly not frowned upon in Incub society for a man to work as well.

Eating in public is considered a vulgar act, like exhibitionism in other races. Instead, decorative screens abscond the act from view in public restaurants and whenever the Incub is not alone. It is considered very rude to eat without a screen, and many Incub never go anywhere without a portable screen they can use when needed.

Incub reproduction involve lengthy courtships, but sex is typically not a private act. Not to be confused with promiscuity, having sex in public is  very common, and often the act is studied by other Incub to pick up pointers. Basically, if two Incub feel the urge, they act on it wherever they may be. Swapping partners, or participating in observed sexual activity is a massive taboo, and often considered a crime. Nudity is common in Incub society as well, but another race visiting an Incub city completely bare assed would be frowned upon greatly, often ending in an arrest. Incub sex organs are almost identical to human sex organs. Incubs cannot breed with any other species, but that does not mean they will not have sex with other species.

Goddamn. That about does it for the Incub. If you have any questions about them, ask me. I’ll answer you. Hope you enjoyed this, cuz I have a DICKload of concept art waiting to be uploaded in my mighty hard drive. Until next time.

Big Update for the New Year

by in Geneslave, Thoughts with a Sharp Tongue and tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

It has been awhile, but it was all worth it.

The holidays…oh boy. You know how those go, so I’m not going to bore any of you with that shit. Instead, I am going to describe the new steps that I have started on Geneslave, and my new book. As you may have deduced, I don’t have a cover for my book, Geneslave. I dabble in art, and my wife suggested that I draw one. I am not a professional artist, but I do like to do abstract shit. So that’s what I am going to do. Also, I am not chickening out on publishing my book. I’ve re-adjusted my strategy.

My wife has good connections. Period. I don’t have shit. Honestly, I’ve never liked networking. I feel as though a business relationship can’t be forced, it must come naturally. Me being skeptical, judgmental, and jaded, I don’t always give a fair chance where a fair chance is due. My wife, however, does. And through he connections and astounding personality, she has some ideas that I may, or may not go with.

I love her cover idea. I am all over that. But she has some other ideas that she wants to pitch to me that I would be very open to. She is…very smart in a way that I can’t understand. That makes her invaluable as a life partner, and in marketing. Anyway, enough about my awesome wife.

The bottom line is I have a habit of getting SO excited about something, I rush it. I looked closely at Geneslave, and I love the piece too much to rush it. I am going to make sure this fuckin’ thing is as perfect as it can get before I put it out on the market. Hopefully, my impatience won’t get the better of me. I haven’t given up, I  haven’t become lax about the blog. I am still here, still writing, and still moving forward. Speaking of which…

I am 40 pages into writing my new book. This is the largest endeavor I have ever undertaken from a writer’s point of view. I have literally fabricated a world out of thin air by changing the one I already live on. Very soon, I will have a SHIT TON of concept art for you to look at, and I will talk more about my creative process and what works for me as a writer.

Don’t think I left. There is no way in Hell that I’m givin’ up now, and neither should you. Are you writing something? Wrote something? Lemmie know, let’s talk a little about it. What how much you reveal, though. I don’t want your ideas getting stolen by some tool lookin’ to make a quick buck.

Publishing on Kindle: The Beginning

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Okay! I got all the shit ready to go my friends, and hopefully, by the end of this week, my book will officially be on Kindle, ready to purchase.

The lowdown is you sign up for a Kindle account, and just upload your damn book in an accepted file format and away you go. Here is the step by step guide that I found on the Amazon/Kindle website: Guide Ahoy!. After that, you must decide how much you’re going to charge for this bad boy. Me? I’m keepin’ it cheap. I want to sell this book for 3.00 USD. I think that is pretty damn fair for a 118,000 word novel (no I am NOT bragging). Here’s a price guide.

I want people to be able to get my book at a modest price. If they have a Kindle, then they can afford three bucks, you know? After I get it uploaded, I’m going to market the book. That’s what I wanted to touch on today. I have many ideas, but I have a few in practice that work well. Here are some of the things I am doing:

1. Get a website with your registered name. Mine is http://www.thedisfigured.com. Not wordpress.com/thedisfigured, or any silly shit like that. Pay for it, and do it. I chose the blog format for how I want to contact my readers/peers. You can do whatever you want.

2. Get a twitter account and update it. A LOT. Here’s mine: Twitter! Decide what type of stuff you want to tweet about. I like to comment on current issues as well as helping unknown revolutionaries like ourselves get recognized (I’m no celebrity. I’m operating under the principle every little bit helps). I also tweet about writing tips, publishing tips, social media tips. Don’t follow my path. Forge your own! You have the power to create whatever you want.

3. Get a Facebook page linked to a profile. Here’s mine: Facebook! I use it as an outlet for updates on the blog, or linking to other pages that are involved in my cause/industry. Be available. People want to know what you’re doing, and how often you’re doing it. Deliver it to them as much as you’re comfortable with.

That’s a good starting point. I’ll upload another blog entry once my book is ready for sale. Get motivated! Finish/start that novel!

JOIN THE REVOLUTION

The Finished Product: Geneslave Ready for Kindle

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It went VERY well. I am so pleased, I don’t even know what to do with myself. I replaced what I needed to replace, and I made the text look all shiny. I feel like such a big boy!

Anyway, the next step from here is uploading this mutha to Kindle so I can unleash my creation u’pont the world. Then, the marketing. I can’t just sit back and wait for people to by my book. I have to put the word out, and make people know that I exist. Which is exactly what I have been doing WAAAAAY before I even started to convert my lowly word document into HTML.

I won’t get into marketing now, however. It’s not time yet. I’m going to start looking as to how to upload, how I get paid, and how people will buy my creations. My plan is to make it affordable, so that anyone with a Kindle (I know this sounds funny- if you got the dough for a Kindle, you can probably buy a hardcover, but fuck it) can buy it. I’m not gonna jack the price up to $10.99, or any shit like that. Well, at least I don’t want to. I don’t know what Kindle can do yet, but I want to keep it low cost.

I plan to make reading fun again, fun for everyone. I feel that the writing industry has been…poisoned as of late, and I plan on being the antidote. What about you? Are you poison?

It was rhetorical, don’t cry. When I get further in this process, you are DAMN straight that I will post my process step by step as much as I can. Start cleanin’ up your manuscripts you mother fuckers.

It’s time to get published.

Final Formatting Tricks for Kindle

by in Geneslave and tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Phew.

Alright, after calming down from my last tirade, Geneslave looks pretty good right  now. I just finished formatting it for Kindle, so we’ll see how that goes. I am actually afraid to put all that hard work into Kindle Previewer to see it fucked up right now, so I’m going to wait. Get pissed if you want, that’s what I’m doing.

So far, I’ve read my book…five times, editing each time. I don’t want you to be frustrated, but I want you to work hard on your novel. Here are some formatting tips I’ve learned from Paul Salvette, the guy that did those Youtube videos I posted in my previous entry (23 November 2011). First, turn on all editing marks. You know, where it shows you all the tabs, paragraphs, spaces. All that shit. The button, if it’s on your word processor, typically looks like a paragraph mark.

Then, select your ENTIRE text and then use the REPLACE function on your processor. Next to find what, you’ll have to find the symbol for a manually entered tab character. I think Salvette mentions it in one of his videos. Find it yourself man. If you’re too lazy, you have no business writing and entire fuckin’ book. Anyway, just leave the REPLACE WITH section blank to delete them all. They look like arrows on the document, the manual tabs.

Next, re-select your entire document again, and use the tab stop at the top of your word processor’s ruler. It’s the top minature arrow on the ruler. Put that sucker on the half-way mark between no inches, and 1 inch. Now, you’re document is indented the big boy way, and Kindle won’t cry about the format when you convert it.

Return to your REPLACE function is your word processor (god bless the kind soul that put this function in). Delete ALL manual page breaks (same method as above) and start the document from fresh, putting page breaks in-between the title page, the copyright page, the T.O.C. (if you have one) and in-between chapters, sections, or whatever. ALWAYS use a manual page break when starting a new chapter, or section, or whatever format your book has.

Finally, do one more proofread of your WHOLE novel and delete any funny tabs, or double returns between paragraphs.

I did all of that in about…an hour and twenty minutes. I already proofread the thing, that took HOURS. But the final touches really don’t take that long. So. I’m going to go and look at it in the Kindle Previewer tomorrow and see what comes out.

It should be pretty obvious if it was good or bad if you look at my next entry’s title.

Kindle Formatting Frustrations

by in Geneslave and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I have never run into a bigger load of fuckin’ horsehshit in my entire life.

Formatting my cocksuckin’ book for muthafuckin’ Kindle has been as joyful as popping hemroids with a flamin’ needle and then jamming said needle into the tip of my cock and blowing my nose into my own ass. It’s fuckin’ unbelievable all the shit you have to go through to get this motherfucker published. It’s insane. Sure, it’s easy to upload the god damn file to Kindle. But. You gotta format that motherfucker first.

Fortunately, there are some kind souls out there that have posted guides. You can find a whole host of them on YouTube. Here are just a few: Part One, Part Two, Part Three (thanks Paul Salvette!).

I didn’t know that I had to learn HTML, and CSS, and WEEWEE5, and DICKSHIT8-2.0. Turns out I did. I’m not giving up, though. Oh no. No sir. Not fuckin’ givin’ this shit up. It has become waaaaaaaaaaaaay too personal for me to walk away now.

Oh, things try to stop me. This keyboard, for instance? I have to rail the FUCK out of the spacebar to insure that I get a space between my words. My hard drive? If I touch it, it disconnects and reconnects. Lotsa shit like that happens, but I am not stopping. No. No fuckin’ way.

I don’t givea good flopping fuck what shit this whole process throws at me. I’ll deal with it all. I was excited to get my book on Kindle post haste, but it turns out I have a VERY long way to go. I’m going to juggle publishin’ my shit, and update this fuckin’ blog with the new book I’m writing. I will try an keep myself from punching my dick through my computer monitor in sheer fuckin’ rage while slamming my own fist into my ass because I hate m’damn self. Stay with me motherfuckers, cuz’ it’s gonna get a whole lot FUNNIER from here on out.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

imad

The Kindle Approach

by in Thoughts with a Sharp Tongue and tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

     Gathering all my energy, I have prepared myself for what lies ahead.

     Backwards Epiphany is ready to go. Now, I begin the process of getting the full body of work into a document that Kindle accepts, as well as a format. This is a confusing process at first. I must say, I hate this aspect of the business. I’d rather just write and let someone else take care of the details, but I’m doing this on my own steam. Nothing is going to stop me, least of all myself. Sometimes, that’s the biggest obstacle, I swear to God.

     Anyway, I did some research on uploading to Kindle. Here’s a handy link I found: https://kdp.amazon.com/self-publishing/signin. I’m excited. Antsy. Scared. I’ve never published a novel before. I’ve been published once, and I even won a contest with a short story of mine, but this is something…different. It’s genuinely frightening, but with that fear comes a wave of excitement. I’m not quite sure which beats which.

     There are some familiar pieces that I noted, like special document extensions, or formats, but I love how do it yourself it is. Some literary agents and publishing houses won’t even look at your manuscript if there is a minor error. I’m not talkin’ about submitting a manuscript in Comic Sans and in different colors. I’m talkin’ about the wrong fuckin’ margins. I digress, nevermind. I don’t mind adhering to format as long as there is room for error. Whatever, I screwed myself up.

     Formatting, files, royalties, agreements. It’s all screaming around in my head, bumping into the sides of my skull and back again. In the chaos of a fragmented mind like mine, it becomes a din of noise. Noise that only I can hear. Songs, lyrics, commercials, ideas, worries, pains, voices, phrases. It’s a mishmosh of madness, but I am learning to focus, and to drown out the ambiance and focus on what’s important.

     Forgive my rant. I’m just really excited and anxious, and I want others to share that feeling with me. Ever publish something? How did you feel? Have you ever published through Kindle? Let me know, I’d like to get a discussion going.