Tag Archives: author

Writer’s Block and Breaking through the Wall

by in The Chronicles of Urth: Blestemul and tagged , , , , , , , | 8 Comments

I hate it when I write myself in to a corner, and I do it way too often.

As I work on TCoU:B, I felt the story prodding along more and more. Eventually, I reached a point where it was becoming forced, and the pieces just didn’t fit. I wasn’t believing what I wrote, and if I don’t believe it, how can I expect others to? I can’t, you’re exactly right. I had my main characters taking a bus to their next location. A fuckin’ bus. What a lazy move on my part to push the story along. But, it was the only good thing that had come to mind.

I went to start writing today, and I stared at the last paragraph before trying to start a new one. I felt supreme frustration, and instead of punching my computer screen, I held Alt and pressed F4. Closed the fucker right away, and cursed the book. I said, “this shit stain will never get done,” and “fuck this stupid fuckin’ book,” and a whole host of other things. I literally just punched the wall to my left as I wrote this, remembering all the frustrated energy I had stored up. Just now, I slammed my fist on the desk.

I hate frustration. Nothing drives me to the point of no return like frustration. I don’t know how to handle it sometimes, so. Oh fuck this. You don’t wanna hear this shit.

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I got up to take a shit and rearrange my balls (they’ve been bothering me all fuckin’ day) when inspiration suddenly struck me. I was missing another character. A character that was not only an integral part of the story, but a much needed plot device that would help move things along without cheating the reader. Suddenly, my story found its momentum again.

Fighting writer’s block is a strange thing. It’s like wrestling with something in the dark. It doesn’t feel, smell, or look familiar. All you know is that it’s there and you hate it just as much as it hates you. I picture it as a strange little fucker, laughing and pointing at me, begging me to lash out and strike it. But no matter how many times I try, I can’t hurt it with conventional means.

I’m getting pissed as I type just thinking about that little fuckin’ cunt. Instead, I delete shit. I had six pages of fluffy, reader-insulting mind garbage that I highlighted and deleted from my book. It was like puking up poison and watching it swirl down the toilet; I felt so much better. And the little cunt stopped laughing at me, knowing it was beaten.

So, my story is back on track because I stopped thinking about writing the story, and started thinking about how to move it forward. Writing a novel and moving the story forward are two very different things. Any putz and walk off the street and shove a novel up their ass and sneeze out a shit stained bag of crap on paperback. But it takes a true author (I’m not the only, nor the last one) to move the story along. That’s what works for me. I stop thinking, start acting, and enjoy deleting. And, I’ll have concept art for a new character soon! Yaaaaaay!

How do you deal with writer’s block? Artist’s block? Do you picture it as an entity, or keep it as a metaphor? Speak up motherfuckers, I’m tired of your silence.

Cover Art: Geneslave

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Hello again.

My other job was calling, and if I didn’t answer, then well. I’d be fucked. But, you aren’t reading this for excuses, and I shall not give them to you. If you’ve been wondering why I haven’t pulled the trigger on Geneslave, it’s not because I’ve lost my nerve. Quite the opposite, actually. I’ve been developing a cover for the book that I would upload to the document when I Kindlefy it and get her ready for the market. I have a habit of rushing into things that I am excited about, and when I look back, I realize that things are missing. So. My wife suggested the development of a cover. At first, I was resistant. I wanted to put Geneslave out and I wanted to put it outnow. But, she helped me calm myself and look at the bigger picture. I thought about doing a cover, but I didn’t want to spend the time on it. Now, I’m glad I did. Here’s what I have so far, and I’ll keep posting the cover as I work on it more and complete it.


I know what you’re thinking. This motherfucker needs to hire an illustrator. And you’re right. But, the first and foremost problem is I can’t afford one. And I need one that will have the same level of passion for Geneslave as I do, and that’s hard to find free. That, and I’m starting to see why it’s important for me to draw the cover myself. This entire endeavor has mostly been under my steam. A good 95% of it if not more, and you know what?I don’t want someone else drawing the cover to my first published work. So whether it sucks the dick, or blows the gods, I’m making my own cover. What about you?

Do you illustrate? Would you illustrate a work you’ve created? Do you think about the cover art to your novel? Let me know, I’d like to hear about it.

Concept Art- Calthag TCoU: Blestemul

by in The Chronicles of Urth: Blestemul and tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Hello once more.

It’s been awhile, but I haven’t’ forgotten. Or given up. Pick one, why not? Anyway, today’s entry is a description of yet another race in TCoU: Blestemul. These guys…are strange. I’m not really sure what I had in mind when I started to create them. I think I started drawing a shoulder, and then the Calthag appeared out of it. They are a strange race, strange but unique. Enough bullshit. Here’s a picture:

Weird lil’ bastard, huh? Well, time to explain myself and why I created such a thing.

Calthag Biology

Calthag look like weak husks of meat and hair. And in many aspects, they are. But there is a reason for this. Calthag don’t need bodies to exist. As you can see above, the Calthag’s body is withered and atrophied, but he is hovering above the ground. You guessed it- strong minds, weak bodies. Each Calthag has a unique psychic ability, typically only being gifted with one. Calthag leaders are individuals that are gifted with multiple psychic talents, or have extremely powerful mastery in a talent, like a psychic that borderlines on prophetic, or a telekinetic that can rip a house out of its very foundation. Strict herbivores, Calthag typically use individuals with telekinetic talents to manipulate the world around them. Others can directly influence plant growth and intelligence. Muscle and organ function exist on the most basic of levels. Often, Calthag jaws aren’t strong enough to open and close widely, so vegetable pastes are created with strong herbs, spices, and salts added to enhance flavor. Rarely over 4 feet tall, Calthag bodies are emaciated and sickly grey, but this has nothing to do with the health of the individual. They can live well past 100 years of age.

All Calthag are blind and deaf, using their powerful minds to feel the world around them, and generate pictures of their surroundings in their minds by taking bits and pieces from outside minds that “leak” into theirs. Calthag willpower and intelligence are so high, that they often “pull” thoughts, memories, sensations, etc. from other organisms, like a strong psychic magnet. All Calthag also have the ability to speak into the minds of others, along with reading them. Most Calthag are very polite, and learn to control this aspect of their mind early on. They have complete mastery of both left and right sides of the brain, allowing them to compose a masterful symphony, or crunch the numbers in a quantum physics equation with equal ease.

They are pseudo-amphibious, meaning they breathe through their skin and lay/fertilize eggs in water. Calthag do not need to keep their skin moist, however, and the water stage of life ends as soon as the Calthag can breathe outside of water. Calthag never take husbands or wives, believing that it breeds ignorance when individuals cannot share everything with one another.  They are closely connected to nature, and able to understand and communicate with all living organisms on a level that no other organism can ever attain.

Calthag Personality, Psychology, and Culture

Most Calthag are nature worshipers, and are very non-confrontational. Peaceful and empathetic, Calthag are powerful healers that can combine the unerring infinite logic of a genius brain with the deep nurturing instincts and empathy associated with healers. They are talented doctors and pharmacists, and can perform complex surgeries and procedures without ever using their hands.  They are also talents psychologists and therapists because they can dive into their patients’ minds and understand on a personal level what they are going thorough while still maintaining an objective view of the situation. Calthag doctors, healers, psychologists, etc are in high demand, and the greedy ones can often charge whatever they want for their services and medicines.

Calthag share almost everything, and are benevolent by nature. Fighting is extraordinarily rare, and often, a hostile person or creature is simply pinned down, or calmed via their powerful psychic abilities. Although Calthag have leaders, no-one is excluded from society save criminals and the gluttonous. Calthag build grand structures that twist and turn upon themselves which force the thoughts of others to be repelled, and help them amplify their own. Think of it like a psychic condom.

Calthag may seem naive to others because of their giving nature, but they know exactly what they, and what you, are going to do before you even do it. They don’t evne need to read your mind. Vessels of creation and benevolence, Calthag rarely, if ever, design weapons. They focus on the development of items to benefit Urth itself, such as powerful new medicines, equipment, and even works of art. They believe they were charged at the time of the Cataclsym to help rebuild and revitalize the population of Urth through the deletion of ignornace, using their incredible gifts to educate others whenever they can.

Okay, one down a few more to go. Stay tuned for more awesome shit. BYE BYE!

Emotions Used in Writing

by in Thoughts with a Sharp Tongue and tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What emotion do you like to feel the most?

Most would generally believe that happiness is the default emotion that we all strive for. But, is that entirely true? Is happiness really a generic label we can adhere to the very complex range of emotions we call humanity? Nope.

All of us feel a wide spectrum of emotions that help us to define our world and the occurences within it. They help us like our senses help us. They provide a whole host of acceptable actions, reactions, decisions, and so forth. Something so abstract shouldn’t be quantified by one word. Happy. Sad. Angry.

What about mixing emotions? Emotions are rarely come by themselves, and quite often they are opposing spectrums. One that fascinates me the most is the spectrum of the masochist. Not pain per say, but let’s say anger. Hardship. Through anger, pain, hardship, stress. These types can find an ocean of willpower and strength through the bizarre combination of happiness and anger.

Why am I spouting off on this shit? Because like all the arts, emotions play a massive part in what we (as artists) produce. I operate on a spectrum that is so alien to some that it is repulsive. I operate like a masochist. I find immense pleasure in feeling anger, feeling pain. Sometimes, the more miserable I am, the more…”free” I feel. Especially when it comes to writing.

Fucked up, huh? I’ve been tracing this shit all over the place, trying to find out why I am like the way I am. Many experiences, values, lessons, etc all combine and pour into us to define who “we” are as a person. I like to take a closer look, and as far back as I can remember, I was verbally abused.

By parents? Never. Loved ones? Never. Friends? Never. I was very fortunate there. But, I was mercilessly made fun of in school. I mean, isn’t it obvious? My life slowly became defined by the amount of misery I was in. And I wasn’t happy. Isolation, masturbation, vindication. All these solo activities and fantasies ingrained in me a haphazard and dysfunctional way of defining my world. My world was anger and pain. So. It’s what I became used to, and it’s what I love. The more I am hated, the better I feel, and the more I can hate back. The easier it is to destroy. I didn’t feel “normal” happiness, so I had to teach myself to relish pain, anger, and hate and accept these emotions as what I personally call happiness.

Strange-ass shit. But I can assure you, this isn’t an internet tough guy routine.

Through much therapy and medication, I’ve learned to re-think the way I am wired for happiness. But, I will always indulge in that horrible anger that I always have inside of me. It’s a part of my personality, a part of how I operate. I need a personal investment, an emotion to find anything worth while, and the more intense the feeling the easier I can associate and deal with my world.

Writing is an act of masturbation for us all. And masochism for me. Two very isolated activities in my mind that bring me great joy. What kind of joy? True happiness? Or my definition of it? See what I’m talking about? It’s an area of infinite grey. Violence, sex, joy, anger. It all turns into the same thing for me. But only when I am isolated.

We are very rough on ourselves. I know I am. The self-abuse that I inflict via poor actions, or masturbatory actions (not necessarily sexual) that just tear me apart. In some sick way, I am happy when I am miserable- whether it be physical, mental, or spiritual pain. And when I am what most would call a “normal” state of happiness, I sometimes can accept it and enjoy it and embrace it. But other times, I find myself hollow, having a gaping chasm inside myself that the anger and pain would fill.

Writing isn’t therapeutic. I do love it, though. I have too many thoughts, too many stories to tell. All so violent, and twisted. So beautifully corrupted and corrosive. Poisonous. Infected. Writing is an act of psychic masochism for me. What my characters choose, what I do to them, why I do it. It gives me power where I never had any, a vessel to express my anger and fantasies in a safe way. Does that make it therapeutic? Fuck, I don’t know.

With that all said, find an emotion that you write with. Why do you write with it? What is your happiness mixed with? Is in unfiltered? Answer these questions, and you’ll write better. In order to entertain others, me must entertain ourselves first. If we want them to feel what we inflict upon them, we must feel it first and be willing to accept it.

What, you thought writing was all about franchises and movie deals? No. The good writers, the real writer has to write because it is a thundering need inside of them. I tell you all this shit not because I want pity. Not because I want to look tough. I tell you it because. Well? It’s true. I have no regrets with my life, or how I live it (for the most part). I don’t need validation, or attention. This entry is what it is, and you can accept it, use it, abuse it, or ignore it. It’s all up to you.

Why the fuck. Do you write? Spill it.

Concept Art- Bilks TCoU: Blestemul

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What, you thought I was a one trick pony? Naw, son I got more concept art. Lots more. Another race I created in The Chronicles of Urth: Blestemul was completely random: it was literally a stream of consciousness drawing that I ran wild with. When I draw characters, I keep a general idea in my mind of how I want them to look. Then, I draw a few lines, some basic anatomy, and HIYAH character time. The creature below this paragraph is a Bilk, and boy. They were a lot of fun to cook up:

Cool, huh? Looks like a cross between a mutant horse, a bodybuilder, and a rhinoceros. These fuckers are cool- they have. Well. I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? Each time I describe a race in my book, I’ll have a similar layout. I’ll describe their biology, and then go into more about cutlure and interaction. With that said, here’s some more info on the Bilk.

Bilk Biology

Bilks stand roughly 5 feet to 6 and a half feet tall with main arms extended. Typically, their center torso and hoof are lifted about a foot off the ground when they lock their elbows. They are dense walls of muscle; Bilks range between 350lbs to 515lbs as an adult. Bilks are also psuedoreptilian, meaning that their body can utilize gathered heat in their metabolism and use calories to keep them warm and functional, but they will have to stop and warm themselves eventually, much like a snake. They cannot overheat however, but they can freeze to death if adequate warmth and food cannot be attained.

Their third arm is far from vestigial, and not only is it functional, it covers the Bilk’s cloachea, where it reproduces and releases waste. Often they’re spine pushes up large spiky plates out of the flesh around adulthood which is between 10 and 15 years old. They are short lived- most Bilks don’t make it past 60 and die of old age.  Skin color ranges from several shades of rich reds and ashy charcoal, all the way to black.

They lay eggs, but the fetus is alive inside before they are laid, incubated in the female Bilk’s womb before she lets them loose. When out of the womb, it takes roughly a week for the hatchlings to emerge. Coitus is achieved through temperature rather than friction. Two Bilks press their third arms together, entwining hands and locking their genitals together. Orgasm is achieved by both Bilks at roughly 104 degrees Fahrenheit.

Being voracious omnivores, they eat anything that they can fit into their mouths and crush with their jaws. They have two rows of teeth- the front are sharp and pointed, the second row is slightly shorter and completely blunt.

Bilk Culture and Society

Bilks are intense, aggressive, and very strict. But, they are extremely polite and jovial, their moods being dictated by their fervor. They are quick to anger, and quick to calm. They are extroverted, and very few Bilk individuals are sullen, or isolated. They mingle with other races easily, often using their powerful lightswitch personalities to win over via charisma, or intimidation. They are not savage however. Even with their incredible strength and fortitude, they are civilized and well-read. Ignorance is as despised as weakness in Bilk society, and Bilks that don’t measure up are ostracised.

Bilks have no concept of shame or honor, rather guided by an infallible moral code instilled in the them at birth. Bilks who do not follow the codes to a “T” are considered lazy, weak, and undisciplined. Bilk leaders and military commanders alike are calculating, ruthless, and absolutely obsessed with victory in battle, whether in politics, arguments, or war.

Not trusting the weaponry and technology of other races, Bilks are adept at creating powerful guns, vehicles, gadgets, and numerous other inventions to get the job done to their standard, which is always high. There is not written code for a Bilk, no tenets to follow. It is an internal moral compass that guides them, and they are unable to share this with other races simply because the concept is too alien to understand. Unless you’re a Bilk, of course.

Bilk pairs mate for life, and infidelity is often met with savage violence and infanticide. Pairs will stay each other until death, and it is not because of a traditional, easy to understand emotion like love. A favorite Bilk saying is, “anything worth achieving must be achieved without error or vacillation.” Basically, if you’re gonna do some shit, do it right and don’t fuck around.

Whadaya think? Let me know, I’d be happy to hear it.

 

The Finished Product: Geneslave Ready for Kindle

by in Geneslave and tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

It went VERY well. I am so pleased, I don’t even know what to do with myself. I replaced what I needed to replace, and I made the text look all shiny. I feel like such a big boy!

Anyway, the next step from here is uploading this mutha to Kindle so I can unleash my creation u’pont the world. Then, the marketing. I can’t just sit back and wait for people to by my book. I have to put the word out, and make people know that I exist. Which is exactly what I have been doing WAAAAAY before I even started to convert my lowly word document into HTML.

I won’t get into marketing now, however. It’s not time yet. I’m going to start looking as to how to upload, how I get paid, and how people will buy my creations. My plan is to make it affordable, so that anyone with a Kindle (I know this sounds funny- if you got the dough for a Kindle, you can probably buy a hardcover, but fuck it) can buy it. I’m not gonna jack the price up to $10.99, or any shit like that. Well, at least I don’t want to. I don’t know what Kindle can do yet, but I want to keep it low cost.

I plan to make reading fun again, fun for everyone. I feel that the writing industry has been…poisoned as of late, and I plan on being the antidote. What about you? Are you poison?

It was rhetorical, don’t cry. When I get further in this process, you are DAMN straight that I will post my process step by step as much as I can. Start cleanin’ up your manuscripts you mother fuckers.

It’s time to get published.

Final Formatting Tricks for Kindle

by in Geneslave and tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Phew.

Alright, after calming down from my last tirade, Geneslave looks pretty good right  now. I just finished formatting it for Kindle, so we’ll see how that goes. I am actually afraid to put all that hard work into Kindle Previewer to see it fucked up right now, so I’m going to wait. Get pissed if you want, that’s what I’m doing.

So far, I’ve read my book…five times, editing each time. I don’t want you to be frustrated, but I want you to work hard on your novel. Here are some formatting tips I’ve learned from Paul Salvette, the guy that did those Youtube videos I posted in my previous entry (23 November 2011). First, turn on all editing marks. You know, where it shows you all the tabs, paragraphs, spaces. All that shit. The button, if it’s on your word processor, typically looks like a paragraph mark.

Then, select your ENTIRE text and then use the REPLACE function on your processor. Next to find what, you’ll have to find the symbol for a manually entered tab character. I think Salvette mentions it in one of his videos. Find it yourself man. If you’re too lazy, you have no business writing and entire fuckin’ book. Anyway, just leave the REPLACE WITH section blank to delete them all. They look like arrows on the document, the manual tabs.

Next, re-select your entire document again, and use the tab stop at the top of your word processor’s ruler. It’s the top minature arrow on the ruler. Put that sucker on the half-way mark between no inches, and 1 inch. Now, you’re document is indented the big boy way, and Kindle won’t cry about the format when you convert it.

Return to your REPLACE function is your word processor (god bless the kind soul that put this function in). Delete ALL manual page breaks (same method as above) and start the document from fresh, putting page breaks in-between the title page, the copyright page, the T.O.C. (if you have one) and in-between chapters, sections, or whatever. ALWAYS use a manual page break when starting a new chapter, or section, or whatever format your book has.

Finally, do one more proofread of your WHOLE novel and delete any funny tabs, or double returns between paragraphs.

I did all of that in about…an hour and twenty minutes. I already proofread the thing, that took HOURS. But the final touches really don’t take that long. So. I’m going to go and look at it in the Kindle Previewer tomorrow and see what comes out.

It should be pretty obvious if it was good or bad if you look at my next entry’s title.

Kindle Formatting Frustrations

by in Geneslave and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I have never run into a bigger load of fuckin’ horsehshit in my entire life.

Formatting my cocksuckin’ book for muthafuckin’ Kindle has been as joyful as popping hemroids with a flamin’ needle and then jamming said needle into the tip of my cock and blowing my nose into my own ass. It’s fuckin’ unbelievable all the shit you have to go through to get this motherfucker published. It’s insane. Sure, it’s easy to upload the god damn file to Kindle. But. You gotta format that motherfucker first.

Fortunately, there are some kind souls out there that have posted guides. You can find a whole host of them on YouTube. Here are just a few: Part One, Part Two, Part Three (thanks Paul Salvette!).

I didn’t know that I had to learn HTML, and CSS, and WEEWEE5, and DICKSHIT8-2.0. Turns out I did. I’m not giving up, though. Oh no. No sir. Not fuckin’ givin’ this shit up. It has become waaaaaaaaaaaaay too personal for me to walk away now.

Oh, things try to stop me. This keyboard, for instance? I have to rail the FUCK out of the spacebar to insure that I get a space between my words. My hard drive? If I touch it, it disconnects and reconnects. Lotsa shit like that happens, but I am not stopping. No. No fuckin’ way.

I don’t givea good flopping fuck what shit this whole process throws at me. I’ll deal with it all. I was excited to get my book on Kindle post haste, but it turns out I have a VERY long way to go. I’m going to juggle publishin’ my shit, and update this fuckin’ blog with the new book I’m writing. I will try an keep myself from punching my dick through my computer monitor in sheer fuckin’ rage while slamming my own fist into my ass because I hate m’damn self. Stay with me motherfuckers, cuz’ it’s gonna get a whole lot FUNNIER from here on out.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

imad

Finishing Geneslave

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Been awhile.

I’ve decided to postpone releasing Backward Epiphany and finish up proofreading Geneslave. And that’s exactly what I did. Geneslave is ready to go, and it will be the first book I publish. I can admit it. Backward Epiphany is not as strong as Geneslave, and I want to start out with a good head of steam, right?

Anyway. I wanted to talk about Geneslave and how I feel about it. It was a blast to write it, and it was a blast to re-read it to proofread. I remember the fight scenes the most. And please don’t think that I’m gloating, or flexing my writing muscles. This is literally an author that is happy with what he created.

My heart would pound, I would lean in, start breaking a sweat. I knew what was gonna happen. I wrote the frickin’ book, but I still found myself loving the story, and loving the characters. Refining it with the proofreading, it was a labor of love. It truly was. I knew that whatever I did to make this book better for the reader would make me a better author. I consider entertainment a very serious matter. If I write something, and it fails to entertain the reader, or it insults their intelligence, I have failed. Failed miserably.

I will not fail. I’ve come to far to fail, so when I finish proofreading a book, it’s not because I “want to get it over with”. I want it the best it can fucking be to make sure I can entertain as many people as possible. Money is gravy. I have a job already, this isn’t supporting me. Financially.

I can’t wait to get this thing on the market for Kindle, and when I do, I will list my steps in detail. I may have to omit personal information. I don’t know yet, but I plan on being as open as possible. Publishing my own book has never been closer in my entire life, and I’m anxious again. Jittery. I can’t wait.

Sometimes, though, I do have a fear of completion. Self-sabotage, kinda. It’s very strange. I feel sometimes like I want to keep the book hidden not for fear of ridicule. Just…that’s how I feel. It’s stupid, and if writing this blog and starting this literary revolution has taught me anything, I will never let my fears and anxiety stop me from doing what I love doing. And it should be the same for you.

Lemmie know. Ever have finisher’s anxiety? How did you feel about publishing a piece? Finish a piece? Hell, writing a piece? I want you input.

The Wrong Cover Letter

by in Thoughts with a Sharp Tongue and tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

       Here’s a bit of humor for ya. This is the cover letter I wish I had the guts to send somewhere when I was in college. It’s good for a laugh. Enjoy:

 

Dear Sir or Fucking Madam:

 I am writing for inquisition of my piece Fuck Your Mother (word count: 559,006.334) for submission in the literary journal, We’ll Never Take yer Shit.

I am aware that the acceptance rate for new authors is negative 10 percent, and I am also aware that if I have some kind of shiny badge or award, I will be accepted into your shitty anus of a journal, so I would just like to say that I ain’t got shit for awards, and this letter will fall on deaf ears.

Fuck Your Mother is a literary non-fiction psychological romance thriller that begs the question: Why are literary magazines filled to the brim with shit? It answers by saying that no matter how much I write, I will need some kind of acceptance or award in order to be submitted into other literary journals, and I will need a whole godamn PILE of literary awards  in order to get an agent for my novel, Suck my Metaphorical Dick.

            It’s funny that I noticed this trend of crap and how it smells up my life with ridiculous reasons and austere and pompous attitudes. Just because my work isn’t accepted into fucking Glimmertrain or The Black Warrior Review, doesn’t mean my work is bad.

            It just means that it doesn’t have a shiny award.

            This goes for millions of other writers out there, some who get so fucking discouraged that they stop writing, and decide to get some shit job working late in order to finish their play which will never been seen by anyone.

            Also, I will have a college degree very soon, but will wind up working in a fucking Wal-Mart because let’s face it- if you got a degree in English, you basically have a degree in poverty.

            So, I’ve essentially wasted my money which is my fault, and I am wasting my time, which is your fault because I know damn well that this will be overlooked and scrapped because “I am an emerging writer fresh out of college and I am hungry to learn about the business of writing”, blah blah FUCKING blah.

            Thank you for your time (not really) and consideration (rejection) for my piece Fuck your Mother. It has been an anal-retentive joy to write this shitrag, and I hope you all burn in Hell for what you do to young, good writers and their drive to EXSIST!

 

Blow me,

 TheDisfigured

 

     When I wrote this, I’d about had it with the publishing industry and its bullshit. I laughed my shlong off when I went back to read it, but when I wrote it? It was liberating. Try it one day. Write a cover letter that totally expresses your frustrations and anger. Share it here, I’d love to read it.