Tag Archives: writing

Emotions Used in Writing

by in Thoughts with a Sharp Tongue and tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What emotion do you like to feel the most?

Most would generally believe that happiness is the default emotion that we all strive for. But, is that entirely true? Is happiness really a generic label we can adhere to the very complex range of emotions we call humanity? Nope.

All of us feel a wide spectrum of emotions that help us to define our world and the occurences within it. They help us like our senses help us. They provide a whole host of acceptable actions, reactions, decisions, and so forth. Something so abstract shouldn’t be quantified by one word. Happy. Sad. Angry.

What about mixing emotions? Emotions are rarely come by themselves, and quite often they are opposing spectrums. One that fascinates me the most is the spectrum of the masochist. Not pain per say, but let’s say anger. Hardship. Through anger, pain, hardship, stress. These types can find an ocean of willpower and strength through the bizarre combination of happiness and anger.

Why am I spouting off on this shit? Because like all the arts, emotions play a massive part in what we (as artists) produce. I operate on a spectrum that is so alien to some that it is repulsive. I operate like a masochist. I find immense pleasure in feeling anger, feeling pain. Sometimes, the more miserable I am, the more…”free” I feel. Especially when it comes to writing.

Fucked up, huh? I’ve been tracing this shit all over the place, trying to find out why I am like the way I am. Many experiences, values, lessons, etc all combine and pour into us to define who “we” are as a person. I like to take a closer look, and as far back as I can remember, I was verbally abused.

By parents? Never. Loved ones? Never. Friends? Never. I was very fortunate there. But, I was mercilessly made fun of in school. I mean, isn’t it obvious? My life slowly became defined by the amount of misery I was in. And I wasn’t happy. Isolation, masturbation, vindication. All these solo activities and fantasies ingrained in me a haphazard and dysfunctional way of defining my world. My world was anger and pain. So. It’s what I became used to, and it’s what I love. The more I am hated, the better I feel, and the more I can hate back. The easier it is to destroy. I didn’t feel “normal” happiness, so I had to teach myself to relish pain, anger, and hate and accept these emotions as what I personally call happiness.

Strange-ass shit. But I can assure you, this isn’t an internet tough guy routine.

Through much therapy and medication, I’ve learned to re-think the way I am wired for happiness. But, I will always indulge in that horrible anger that I always have inside of me. It’s a part of my personality, a part of how I operate. I need a personal investment, an emotion to find anything worth while, and the more intense the feeling the easier I can associate and deal with my world.

Writing is an act of masturbation for us all. And masochism for me. Two very isolated activities in my mind that bring me great joy. What kind of joy? True happiness? Or my definition of it? See what I’m talking about? It’s an area of infinite grey. Violence, sex, joy, anger. It all turns into the same thing for me. But only when I am isolated.

We are very rough on ourselves. I know I am. The self-abuse that I inflict via poor actions, or masturbatory actions (not necessarily sexual) that just tear me apart. In some sick way, I am happy when I am miserable- whether it be physical, mental, or spiritual pain. And when I am what most would call a “normal” state of happiness, I sometimes can accept it and enjoy it and embrace it. But other times, I find myself hollow, having a gaping chasm inside myself that the anger and pain would fill.

Writing isn’t therapeutic. I do love it, though. I have too many thoughts, too many stories to tell. All so violent, and twisted. So beautifully corrupted and corrosive. Poisonous. Infected. Writing is an act of psychic masochism for me. What my characters choose, what I do to them, why I do it. It gives me power where I never had any, a vessel to express my anger and fantasies in a safe way. Does that make it therapeutic? Fuck, I don’t know.

With that all said, find an emotion that you write with. Why do you write with it? What is your happiness mixed with? Is in unfiltered? Answer these questions, and you’ll write better. In order to entertain others, me must entertain ourselves first. If we want them to feel what we inflict upon them, we must feel it first and be willing to accept it.

What, you thought writing was all about franchises and movie deals? No. The good writers, the real writer has to write because it is a thundering need inside of them. I tell you all this shit not because I want pity. Not because I want to look tough. I tell you it because. Well? It’s true. I have no regrets with my life, or how I live it (for the most part). I don’t need validation, or attention. This entry is what it is, and you can accept it, use it, abuse it, or ignore it. It’s all up to you.

Why the fuck. Do you write? Spill it.

Concept Art- Bilks TCoU: Blestemul

by in The Chronicles of Urth: Blestemul and tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What, you thought I was a one trick pony? Naw, son I got more concept art. Lots more. Another race I created in The Chronicles of Urth: Blestemul was completely random: it was literally a stream of consciousness drawing that I ran wild with. When I draw characters, I keep a general idea in my mind of how I want them to look. Then, I draw a few lines, some basic anatomy, and HIYAH character time. The creature below this paragraph is a Bilk, and boy. They were a lot of fun to cook up:

Cool, huh? Looks like a cross between a mutant horse, a bodybuilder, and a rhinoceros. These fuckers are cool- they have. Well. I’m getting ahead of myself, aren’t I? Each time I describe a race in my book, I’ll have a similar layout. I’ll describe their biology, and then go into more about cutlure and interaction. With that said, here’s some more info on the Bilk.

Bilk Biology

Bilks stand roughly 5 feet to 6 and a half feet tall with main arms extended. Typically, their center torso and hoof are lifted about a foot off the ground when they lock their elbows. They are dense walls of muscle; Bilks range between 350lbs to 515lbs as an adult. Bilks are also psuedoreptilian, meaning that their body can utilize gathered heat in their metabolism and use calories to keep them warm and functional, but they will have to stop and warm themselves eventually, much like a snake. They cannot overheat however, but they can freeze to death if adequate warmth and food cannot be attained.

Their third arm is far from vestigial, and not only is it functional, it covers the Bilk’s cloachea, where it reproduces and releases waste. Often they’re spine pushes up large spiky plates out of the flesh around adulthood which is between 10 and 15 years old. They are short lived- most Bilks don’t make it past 60 and die of old age.  Skin color ranges from several shades of rich reds and ashy charcoal, all the way to black.

They lay eggs, but the fetus is alive inside before they are laid, incubated in the female Bilk’s womb before she lets them loose. When out of the womb, it takes roughly a week for the hatchlings to emerge. Coitus is achieved through temperature rather than friction. Two Bilks press their third arms together, entwining hands and locking their genitals together. Orgasm is achieved by both Bilks at roughly 104 degrees Fahrenheit.

Being voracious omnivores, they eat anything that they can fit into their mouths and crush with their jaws. They have two rows of teeth- the front are sharp and pointed, the second row is slightly shorter and completely blunt.

Bilk Culture and Society

Bilks are intense, aggressive, and very strict. But, they are extremely polite and jovial, their moods being dictated by their fervor. They are quick to anger, and quick to calm. They are extroverted, and very few Bilk individuals are sullen, or isolated. They mingle with other races easily, often using their powerful lightswitch personalities to win over via charisma, or intimidation. They are not savage however. Even with their incredible strength and fortitude, they are civilized and well-read. Ignorance is as despised as weakness in Bilk society, and Bilks that don’t measure up are ostracised.

Bilks have no concept of shame or honor, rather guided by an infallible moral code instilled in the them at birth. Bilks who do not follow the codes to a “T” are considered lazy, weak, and undisciplined. Bilk leaders and military commanders alike are calculating, ruthless, and absolutely obsessed with victory in battle, whether in politics, arguments, or war.

Not trusting the weaponry and technology of other races, Bilks are adept at creating powerful guns, vehicles, gadgets, and numerous other inventions to get the job done to their standard, which is always high. There is not written code for a Bilk, no tenets to follow. It is an internal moral compass that guides them, and they are unable to share this with other races simply because the concept is too alien to understand. Unless you’re a Bilk, of course.

Bilk pairs mate for life, and infidelity is often met with savage violence and infanticide. Pairs will stay each other until death, and it is not because of a traditional, easy to understand emotion like love. A favorite Bilk saying is, “anything worth achieving must be achieved without error or vacillation.” Basically, if you’re gonna do some shit, do it right and don’t fuck around.

Whadaya think? Let me know, I’d be happy to hear it.

 

A Sample Chapter and MORE- TCoU: Blestmul

by in The Chronicles of Urth: Blestemul and tagged , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

Well, hello there.

As you may or may not know, I have been writing my 4th book, The Chronicles of Urth: Blestemul. This is my most massive undertaking, and I have never been happier living and writing in a world that I have created. Okay, so before we get into the concept art I wanted to post for this, I am laying down the prologue so you can understand what happens in the book, and what I’m talking about. Here’s a sample torn right from the word document:

Prologue:

Humans are stupid. In fact, they’re fucking morons. Inquisitive, sadistic, childish morons. At the best, they are gallant inventors, adventurers, creators, and healers. At worst, they are destructive, ignorant, arrogant, useless parasites. Humans become more and more xenophobic and secular by the decade, and their quest for knowledge of how to kill each other was always going to lead to cataclysm. And it did, in the year 2050.

It wasn’t a nuclear war. Wasn’t even a war to begin with. Mount Everest. Biggest fuckin’ thing on the planet. Moronic humans would climb that wretched hunk of rock and bitch and moan when they would die on it, surprised of their fate. It was only a matter of time before they discovered the mountain’s secret. A door, more specifically, was found. Barely larger than a doggie door, but there none the less. With curiosity peaked and the group’s findings made public, it wasn’t long before more humans came.

Further investigation revealed that the “door” was some kind of lock into a massive chamber that lay beyond. Excavation began, and soon Everest revealed its secret: the mountain isn’t a natural structure. It also wasn’t man made.

Massive in scope, the interior of Everest sprawled through that tiny trap door, with extraordinarily sophisticated machinery inside. Still operational, buzzing and humming. It was vacant, and it had looked as if nothing was living there. Fortunately, whoever built this structure kept a journal, and revealed the secrets of eons upon eons of life on Earth.

Facts, logs, data, everything was listed, everything since Earth formed, and the log ended in 2011. Apparently, whoever created this structure could pierce the mind of those how used it, and auto-translated itself to whatever form of communication the user was fluent in, whether it was ancient Sumerian, or the facial gestures and tail flicks of a dog. Further study revealed that the beings that made Everest where actually aliens that would introduce the process of life to an otherwise barren planet, regulating it’s every step of development. This race chose Earth, using powerful technologies to move the planet to just the right spot in the solar system, essentially moving every other planet along with it.

So powerful was this race that they monitored all life on the planet, inventing species, controlling weather formations, natural disasters, helping species die out (like the dinosaurs) and helping species thrive (like humans). It even had its own instruction manual, and literally told the user how to be a god on Earth. These aliens believed in a greater good, as said their religion, that they were responsible for creating and taking care of life, searching the solar system for ripe planets to develop and nourish.

Further study revealed that they introduced these ideals to groups of humans all at the same time in different places of the earth, hoping that they would understand the capacity for creation and life. Hoping that they too would be guardians and creators themselves. They didn’t.

Humans formulated religions everywhere, and as the alien’s god introduced messiahs, prophets, saints, so on and so forth, this overload forced humans to miss the overall view. Instead, they fought over these ideals, and eventually, where the log ends, the aliens asked for forgiveness from their god, simply called Good, and abandoned Earth.

Like the idiots they are, humans fought over control of the facility. America fought Russia, who fought China, which fought Great Britain, and so on and so forth, almost heralding in the third world war. However, something happened as humans tried to seize control of the command center. An alarm was triggered, loud and terrible, and Everest collapsed on itself. This released a massive wave of energy that completely warped Earth. Basically, it was like hitting reset button on a planet, and then dropping it into an evolutionary blender stuck in overdrive.

The aliens basically created a self destruct that forced the planet into a state of re-evolution. Instead of destroying Earth, the aliens wanted life to have a chance to start all over again. It didn’t wipe the trace of humanity and all its records.  The aliens simply restarted it. Without their help. Without their influence.

Now spelled Urth after the Cataclysm, the planet is in the clutches of an evolutionary oxymoron that stabilized after roughly 3000 years of accelerated change. Life re-stabilized in roughly 2000 years, and after a mere 1500, intelligent races now roam Urth, developing incredible technologies with new materials and old teachings, living and dealing with this new, chaotic planet. Humans, of course, are the most prolific and shortest lived.

The old species that survived eked out a living (humans among them of course) and found niches, surviving and adapting even as Earth became Urth right under their feet. Humans, now seen as wise sages, herald in a new era of light and creation, driven by wisdom and….I can’t even finish that. Humans didn’t learn shit, and those that did went back doing the same garbage they did before.

Only this time, there is no reset. Humans learn from the past, true. We started recording history again, failures, successes, making records, creating technologies based off of old ones, studying old sciences and making new experiments. However, we do not learn lessons. We only seek to advance what we already have, and now species clash, come together, and survive across desert plains with patches of rainforest, massive ice formations with bubbling magma, lush, tropical ice flows, random storms in the middle of mutated swamps, rocky tundra, volcanic grasslands, hurricanes among cryo-volcanoes without rain. Saltwater now a rarity, the entire planet almost completely covered in a mega-Pangaea with massive freshwater oceans. Constant climate change, constant weather changes, constant landscape changes, constant ecological contradictions, but life still finds a way to thrive. To survive.

Welcome to Urth, motherfucker.

I know, right?! WHEEEE!

Anyway, now you have a better understand of what has happened to our happy lil’ planet before humans royally fucked it  up (sounds familiar?). I created several main races that the forced evolution of the Cataclysm generated, using the basic human blueprint. The first race I created were the Incub:

Cool, huh? Alright, like I promised before, I wanted this blog not only to be a resource for writers like me, but I wanted to give readers a chance to get immersed in fiction and actually see what an author (me) goes through to create a novel. Me? I like concept art. And back story, which is rare to get in a novel without using a shitty plot device. So, that’s why I’m writing back story here, on the blog. So, if you read my book when it comes out, you can directly view, and communicate with me so I can elaborate on or clear up any questions that you may have. See? Cool.

Incub Biology

Incubs are enigmatic, but not mysterious. They are mammals: females have breasts like human women. They lack an abundance of body hair. Ranging from 170lbs to 220lbs on average, they stand no taller than 6 feet in most instances. Their lifespans typically do not exceed 110 years, reaching sexual maturity at 20-25 years of age. Their skin range from light blue to a rich, deep navy. The always have one eye, and lack two basic facial features. A nose, and a mouth. But. They are not hindered by this at all. Instead of a nose to pick up scents, they have super sensitive hairs on the tips of their ears. These gather particles of the surrounding environment and input the data as scent in the Incub’s brain.

As for a mouth, they don’t have one. They instead have a unique, and impossibly intricate voice box that they push air through to make a hum, which they form into words (the language of their choice) using said voice box and a sophisticated internal tongue which move through the system of bones and tissue inside the voice box. Breathing is achieved with lungs, but not through a mouth and nose (obviously). Trillions of microscopic pores dot the Incub’s face and under the chin, allowing air to pass through via lung control and system autonomous pore control.

Eating like a starfish, Incubs have a seam on their abdominal wall that is control much like a mouth. They throw their stomachs on their food, where it is held in the stomach which is lined with billions of taste buds, far more sensitive than a human tongue. Incubs taste food for hours as their body digests it, savoring each portion of the food as it is digested and pushed through the system. Incub stomach acids are completely clear and have no flavor. Digested food passes through the Incub just like any other mammal.

They have three fingers on each hand, but five toes on each foot. Their hands sport retractable claws which are quite sharp and can extend out to 3” in length. Also, on the left arm, an Incub has a poisonous stinger that has a cocktail of poisons, much like a snake. This venom causes paralysis in small doses, and internal hemorrhaging and brain death in large doses. This stinger is retractable. When refined, Incub venom can be dried and insufflated, causing intense hallucinations and inducing a dopamine soaked pleasure ride lasting for hours. Often, when a dose of this drug is taken, several powerful orgasms occur in the subject instantaneously.

Incub Culture and Personality

Incubs are somewhat furtive by nature, but not surly or gruff. They have a complex system of social intricacies involving honor, pride, and strength. They are a very active race- never happy to sit and stagnate. Athletic, but far from mindlessly violent, Incub sporting events are jovial and serious at the same time. Feats of great strength, endurance, or mental aptitude are all equally praised and admired. Incub scholars are very intelligent, and completely devoted to whatever school of study they adhere to. They are dedicated, fastidious, and powerful, but can be gentle, empathetic and philanthropic.

Incub men are considered feminine if they get involved in fighting. Considered strictly women’s work, and an Incub army is almost completely comprised of women. Incub men are typically skills in martial arts and gunplay, but almost never engage in combat outside of defending themselves or their families. Petty disputes are often fought with wits by both genders, and will never resort to violence unless attacked first. Not all Incubs adhere to their strict moral and social guidelines after all. Men are very content in defending and taking care of the family while female Incub work and fight, but it is typicaly not frowned upon in Incub society for a man to work as well.

Eating in public is considered a vulgar act, like exhibitionism in other races. Instead, decorative screens abscond the act from view in public restaurants and whenever the Incub is not alone. It is considered very rude to eat without a screen, and many Incub never go anywhere without a portable screen they can use when needed.

Incub reproduction involve lengthy courtships, but sex is typically not a private act. Not to be confused with promiscuity, having sex in public is  very common, and often the act is studied by other Incub to pick up pointers. Basically, if two Incub feel the urge, they act on it wherever they may be. Swapping partners, or participating in observed sexual activity is a massive taboo, and often considered a crime. Nudity is common in Incub society as well, but another race visiting an Incub city completely bare assed would be frowned upon greatly, often ending in an arrest. Incub sex organs are almost identical to human sex organs. Incubs cannot breed with any other species, but that does not mean they will not have sex with other species.

Goddamn. That about does it for the Incub. If you have any questions about them, ask me. I’ll answer you. Hope you enjoyed this, cuz I have a DICKload of concept art waiting to be uploaded in my mighty hard drive. Until next time.

Big Update for the New Year

by in Geneslave, Thoughts with a Sharp Tongue and tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

It has been awhile, but it was all worth it.

The holidays…oh boy. You know how those go, so I’m not going to bore any of you with that shit. Instead, I am going to describe the new steps that I have started on Geneslave, and my new book. As you may have deduced, I don’t have a cover for my book, Geneslave. I dabble in art, and my wife suggested that I draw one. I am not a professional artist, but I do like to do abstract shit. So that’s what I am going to do. Also, I am not chickening out on publishing my book. I’ve re-adjusted my strategy.

My wife has good connections. Period. I don’t have shit. Honestly, I’ve never liked networking. I feel as though a business relationship can’t be forced, it must come naturally. Me being skeptical, judgmental, and jaded, I don’t always give a fair chance where a fair chance is due. My wife, however, does. And through he connections and astounding personality, she has some ideas that I may, or may not go with.

I love her cover idea. I am all over that. But she has some other ideas that she wants to pitch to me that I would be very open to. She is…very smart in a way that I can’t understand. That makes her invaluable as a life partner, and in marketing. Anyway, enough about my awesome wife.

The bottom line is I have a habit of getting SO excited about something, I rush it. I looked closely at Geneslave, and I love the piece too much to rush it. I am going to make sure this fuckin’ thing is as perfect as it can get before I put it out on the market. Hopefully, my impatience won’t get the better of me. I haven’t given up, I  haven’t become lax about the blog. I am still here, still writing, and still moving forward. Speaking of which…

I am 40 pages into writing my new book. This is the largest endeavor I have ever undertaken from a writer’s point of view. I have literally fabricated a world out of thin air by changing the one I already live on. Very soon, I will have a SHIT TON of concept art for you to look at, and I will talk more about my creative process and what works for me as a writer.

Don’t think I left. There is no way in Hell that I’m givin’ up now, and neither should you. Are you writing something? Wrote something? Lemmie know, let’s talk a little about it. What how much you reveal, though. I don’t want your ideas getting stolen by some tool lookin’ to make a quick buck.

Publishing on Kindle: The Beginning

by in Geneslave and tagged , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Okay! I got all the shit ready to go my friends, and hopefully, by the end of this week, my book will officially be on Kindle, ready to purchase.

The lowdown is you sign up for a Kindle account, and just upload your damn book in an accepted file format and away you go. Here is the step by step guide that I found on the Amazon/Kindle website: Guide Ahoy!. After that, you must decide how much you’re going to charge for this bad boy. Me? I’m keepin’ it cheap. I want to sell this book for 3.00 USD. I think that is pretty damn fair for a 118,000 word novel (no I am NOT bragging). Here’s a price guide.

I want people to be able to get my book at a modest price. If they have a Kindle, then they can afford three bucks, you know? After I get it uploaded, I’m going to market the book. That’s what I wanted to touch on today. I have many ideas, but I have a few in practice that work well. Here are some of the things I am doing:

1. Get a website with your registered name. Mine is http://www.thedisfigured.com. Not wordpress.com/thedisfigured, or any silly shit like that. Pay for it, and do it. I chose the blog format for how I want to contact my readers/peers. You can do whatever you want.

2. Get a twitter account and update it. A LOT. Here’s mine: Twitter! Decide what type of stuff you want to tweet about. I like to comment on current issues as well as helping unknown revolutionaries like ourselves get recognized (I’m no celebrity. I’m operating under the principle every little bit helps). I also tweet about writing tips, publishing tips, social media tips. Don’t follow my path. Forge your own! You have the power to create whatever you want.

3. Get a Facebook page linked to a profile. Here’s mine: Facebook! I use it as an outlet for updates on the blog, or linking to other pages that are involved in my cause/industry. Be available. People want to know what you’re doing, and how often you’re doing it. Deliver it to them as much as you’re comfortable with.

That’s a good starting point. I’ll upload another blog entry once my book is ready for sale. Get motivated! Finish/start that novel!

JOIN THE REVOLUTION

The Finished Product: Geneslave Ready for Kindle

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It went VERY well. I am so pleased, I don’t even know what to do with myself. I replaced what I needed to replace, and I made the text look all shiny. I feel like such a big boy!

Anyway, the next step from here is uploading this mutha to Kindle so I can unleash my creation u’pont the world. Then, the marketing. I can’t just sit back and wait for people to by my book. I have to put the word out, and make people know that I exist. Which is exactly what I have been doing WAAAAAY before I even started to convert my lowly word document into HTML.

I won’t get into marketing now, however. It’s not time yet. I’m going to start looking as to how to upload, how I get paid, and how people will buy my creations. My plan is to make it affordable, so that anyone with a Kindle (I know this sounds funny- if you got the dough for a Kindle, you can probably buy a hardcover, but fuck it) can buy it. I’m not gonna jack the price up to $10.99, or any shit like that. Well, at least I don’t want to. I don’t know what Kindle can do yet, but I want to keep it low cost.

I plan to make reading fun again, fun for everyone. I feel that the writing industry has been…poisoned as of late, and I plan on being the antidote. What about you? Are you poison?

It was rhetorical, don’t cry. When I get further in this process, you are DAMN straight that I will post my process step by step as much as I can. Start cleanin’ up your manuscripts you mother fuckers.

It’s time to get published.

Final Formatting Tricks for Kindle

by in Geneslave and tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Phew.

Alright, after calming down from my last tirade, Geneslave looks pretty good right  now. I just finished formatting it for Kindle, so we’ll see how that goes. I am actually afraid to put all that hard work into Kindle Previewer to see it fucked up right now, so I’m going to wait. Get pissed if you want, that’s what I’m doing.

So far, I’ve read my book…five times, editing each time. I don’t want you to be frustrated, but I want you to work hard on your novel. Here are some formatting tips I’ve learned from Paul Salvette, the guy that did those Youtube videos I posted in my previous entry (23 November 2011). First, turn on all editing marks. You know, where it shows you all the tabs, paragraphs, spaces. All that shit. The button, if it’s on your word processor, typically looks like a paragraph mark.

Then, select your ENTIRE text and then use the REPLACE function on your processor. Next to find what, you’ll have to find the symbol for a manually entered tab character. I think Salvette mentions it in one of his videos. Find it yourself man. If you’re too lazy, you have no business writing and entire fuckin’ book. Anyway, just leave the REPLACE WITH section blank to delete them all. They look like arrows on the document, the manual tabs.

Next, re-select your entire document again, and use the tab stop at the top of your word processor’s ruler. It’s the top minature arrow on the ruler. Put that sucker on the half-way mark between no inches, and 1 inch. Now, you’re document is indented the big boy way, and Kindle won’t cry about the format when you convert it.

Return to your REPLACE function is your word processor (god bless the kind soul that put this function in). Delete ALL manual page breaks (same method as above) and start the document from fresh, putting page breaks in-between the title page, the copyright page, the T.O.C. (if you have one) and in-between chapters, sections, or whatever. ALWAYS use a manual page break when starting a new chapter, or section, or whatever format your book has.

Finally, do one more proofread of your WHOLE novel and delete any funny tabs, or double returns between paragraphs.

I did all of that in about…an hour and twenty minutes. I already proofread the thing, that took HOURS. But the final touches really don’t take that long. So. I’m going to go and look at it in the Kindle Previewer tomorrow and see what comes out.

It should be pretty obvious if it was good or bad if you look at my next entry’s title.

Kindle Formatting Frustrations

by in Geneslave and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

I have never run into a bigger load of fuckin’ horsehshit in my entire life.

Formatting my cocksuckin’ book for muthafuckin’ Kindle has been as joyful as popping hemroids with a flamin’ needle and then jamming said needle into the tip of my cock and blowing my nose into my own ass. It’s fuckin’ unbelievable all the shit you have to go through to get this motherfucker published. It’s insane. Sure, it’s easy to upload the god damn file to Kindle. But. You gotta format that motherfucker first.

Fortunately, there are some kind souls out there that have posted guides. You can find a whole host of them on YouTube. Here are just a few: Part One, Part Two, Part Three (thanks Paul Salvette!).

I didn’t know that I had to learn HTML, and CSS, and WEEWEE5, and DICKSHIT8-2.0. Turns out I did. I’m not giving up, though. Oh no. No sir. Not fuckin’ givin’ this shit up. It has become waaaaaaaaaaaaay too personal for me to walk away now.

Oh, things try to stop me. This keyboard, for instance? I have to rail the FUCK out of the spacebar to insure that I get a space between my words. My hard drive? If I touch it, it disconnects and reconnects. Lotsa shit like that happens, but I am not stopping. No. No fuckin’ way.

I don’t givea good flopping fuck what shit this whole process throws at me. I’ll deal with it all. I was excited to get my book on Kindle post haste, but it turns out I have a VERY long way to go. I’m going to juggle publishin’ my shit, and update this fuckin’ blog with the new book I’m writing. I will try an keep myself from punching my dick through my computer monitor in sheer fuckin’ rage while slamming my own fist into my ass because I hate m’damn self. Stay with me motherfuckers, cuz’ it’s gonna get a whole lot FUNNIER from here on out.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

FUCK.

imad

My Amateur’s Guide to Publishing on Kindle

by in Geneslave and tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Wheeeeee!

Alright, so I’ve started to convert my book (Geneslave) to a readable format for Kindle. I’m still working out the kinks, but I will be able to upload it and sell it very soon. I’m going to list this shit step by step as best I can. If you have questions, ask me. I will answer them the best I can. Anyway, here’s what I did.

Before you do anything, you gotta make sure that your book will even look right on a Kindle. Go to this webpage. It will tell you what it has to look like. I did what it told me to do by eliminating headers and footers, having the correct title page and copyright page (go to this link to find out what a proper copyright page should look like. Thank you Camilla Chafer!). Then, you gotta make sure you’re using automatic indents that your word processor has. You can’t use tab, or for the love of SHIT do NOT use manual spacing. It looks terrible.

Now that your word file is all Kindlefied, you must convert it to a wepage format so Mobipocket can convert it to a file that Kindle can understand. I’ll explain what Mobipocket is later. In your word processor, you must save the file as: WEBPAGE, FILTERED. It’s best if you save it to your desktop so you know where it is easily. That’s what I did. With that ready, it’s time to download Mobipocket to get your book ready.

Go to this webpage to download Mobipocket, which is a free program that will convert your book into a file type that Kindle can utilize. Once you have it installed on your computer, open it on up. Remember the first webpage I directed you to? Scroll down. It has ALL the instructions you need to build your book. Did you follow the instructions? Good.

Once build, sit on your new creation. You gotta download one more program here. Make sure you download the file under the title: Download Kindle Previewer 1.61. I picked the wrong one by accident and I had to open command prompts, cast spells, shoot lasers, it was a fuckin’ disaster.

This program is made so you can take a look at your book’s presentation when it’s on Kindle and ready to be purchased. Once again, go to the first webpage link I posted in this blog  to find out how to use the Kindle Previewer. If it looks good…well I don’t know. Mine looked like shit. HA!

I’m going to have to re-do the way my book looks a little bit in order to make it look better on Kindle. I’ll definitely post my steps, struggles, and triumphs so you don’t have to face them. If you know a 100% surefire way to make a book look good on Kindle, PLEASE. Do not keep these secrets to yourself. Share them here. I will publish it on the blog and give you credit.

Stay right here! I’m so CLOSE!

How close are you?

Finishing Geneslave

by in Geneslave and tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Been awhile.

I’ve decided to postpone releasing Backward Epiphany and finish up proofreading Geneslave. And that’s exactly what I did. Geneslave is ready to go, and it will be the first book I publish. I can admit it. Backward Epiphany is not as strong as Geneslave, and I want to start out with a good head of steam, right?

Anyway. I wanted to talk about Geneslave and how I feel about it. It was a blast to write it, and it was a blast to re-read it to proofread. I remember the fight scenes the most. And please don’t think that I’m gloating, or flexing my writing muscles. This is literally an author that is happy with what he created.

My heart would pound, I would lean in, start breaking a sweat. I knew what was gonna happen. I wrote the frickin’ book, but I still found myself loving the story, and loving the characters. Refining it with the proofreading, it was a labor of love. It truly was. I knew that whatever I did to make this book better for the reader would make me a better author. I consider entertainment a very serious matter. If I write something, and it fails to entertain the reader, or it insults their intelligence, I have failed. Failed miserably.

I will not fail. I’ve come to far to fail, so when I finish proofreading a book, it’s not because I “want to get it over with”. I want it the best it can fucking be to make sure I can entertain as many people as possible. Money is gravy. I have a job already, this isn’t supporting me. Financially.

I can’t wait to get this thing on the market for Kindle, and when I do, I will list my steps in detail. I may have to omit personal information. I don’t know yet, but I plan on being as open as possible. Publishing my own book has never been closer in my entire life, and I’m anxious again. Jittery. I can’t wait.

Sometimes, though, I do have a fear of completion. Self-sabotage, kinda. It’s very strange. I feel sometimes like I want to keep the book hidden not for fear of ridicule. Just…that’s how I feel. It’s stupid, and if writing this blog and starting this literary revolution has taught me anything, I will never let my fears and anxiety stop me from doing what I love doing. And it should be the same for you.

Lemmie know. Ever have finisher’s anxiety? How did you feel about publishing a piece? Finish a piece? Hell, writing a piece? I want you input.