A Vacancy

Dark thoughts must be replaced with light ones. It is not enough to slay the symptom, but never the cause. Betrayal is always an unfamiliar feeling because it is always expected. Dark thoughts betray.

Life and death are the same razor edge. Dark thoughts betray. So what do the light ones do? Depends. The negative range on the spectrum of human emotion and expression are useful only when their time remains short. Lingering…in those rotting thoughts makes illness and horror. Discomfort. Atrocity.

Light reinforces each soul it radiates from, each one its own radiant and self perpetuating power source, while more insidious emotions reside in the shadows of action, manipulative and life-draining, enervating. It cannot survive unfed.

Death is a piece of the whole, a puzzle yet to have been solved at least in reality. Comb through each piece, though. Acceptance of its size, its gravity comes from understanding. Mourning oneself through others. Death leaves a void. One that must be filled in.

Honesty is best with a dangerous approach. Even more important when trying to change or heal, to replace the void inside and outside. Love is best with a slow approach, to fill in the vacant parts of soul, body, mind. Accuracy in both, and both need one another.

Peace must fill the voids in life, a culmination of experiences and emotions; perfect in balance and difficult to maintain.  But it is the vacancy, and the process of filling it, that causes growth.


Intensity has followed me since I was a child. Focus not so much.

Time comes, and time goes. But when we exist within it, we can truly make our mark. Motivation, skill, talent, understanding, knowledge. These things come if we are open to them, and willing to work for them. And I am starting to see that many of my problems, personal, professional, you name it, stem from myself. Myself and how I react to different situations.

I am not proud do say that I am petty and bitter. Angry. Unforgiving. I am proud to say that I am kind, compassionate, and peaceful at heart. I exist in constant contradiction, which causes conflict that is not welcomed, or unwelcome. It is accepted. So here comes the question, what the FUCK is this asshole writing about? Focus. That’s what I’m writing about. Focus.

Determination and focus should go hand in hand, and eventually, they should lead you to a zenith where they can both slice through any problem, any excuse, any qualm. And expose your true path. If you read my last entry, I’m shifting my focus a little bit. I still very much want to complete Blestemul, but my mind…my mind gets bored very quickly. Being locked in a shifting prison of haphazard thought has pros and cons. Fuck, now I’m rambling.

I wanna try something different!

I am going to start my own legitimate business very soon. An engine that serves all aspects of my life as a writer. Whether or not I make money is irrelevant at this moment. The point is, I want to try something different.

But this entry isn’t all about me and my new business venture. No, that was just a launchpad for the true purpose of this entry. Focus. Every single one of you have tremendous power within you. And I don’t mean that “YOU’RE SPECIAL” kind of power. No, you have cognition and awareness. When paired with human ingenuity, curiosity and mortality, you are able to create and destroy at a moment’s notice.

So what are you doing with this power? As for me, I was wasting it. Maybe I still am, but I’ll be damned if I’m not gonna at least try to tap into the gifts of humanity. Not my personal “gifts”, no. Gifts that we, Homo sapiens, are created with, evolved to have. Each of us is an infinite well of creation and destruction, and each action we commit to the Earth changes us.

With all that power, how could you fail? Better yet, don’t answer that. Just act.