Author Archives: TheDisfigured

Proofreading Blows. But…

by in Geneslave | Leave a comment

     Proofreading is not something I enjoy. Well, when reading my own work. You see, it’s the part of writing that is more technical, more calculated. It’s difficult. However, proofreading provides something for me that I didn’t expect the first time I proofread my first novel- I fell in love with the story all over again. I can go back, change what I wrote, re-examine what I was trying to do, and understand all my characters one more time. I often find myself getting so involved in the story of it all that I forget to proofread and have to go and backtrack.

     Now, I’m not saying this with ego. I just…get involved. Most of the time, I get too involved. Often, I’ll be thrown into depression, or apathy, or whatever my particular protagonist is feeling at the moment. When I was proofreading Backwards Epiphany (it should be ready for Kindle within a month) the main character is very somber, very sad. Selfish, brutal. I found myself more masochistic, often degrading myself verbally, or mentally. At times, I would push myself to the limits of pain or exertion, often fasting, or going without water. Just to understand my character better. Or maybe my character was raping me with his personality.

     Geneslave, my magnum opus, is the current book I am proofreading (don’t worry, I will be talking about both novels and how fucking awesome they are and why you should read them later) and I must tell you, I’m getting caught up in the story again. The violence, the struggle, the duality, the betrayal, the sheer driving force of the plot and its characters. It makes proofreading a Hell of a lot more bearable when you’re enjoying the story.

     What do you do? Novelists out there? Short story writers? Poets? How involved do you get in your work? Sometimes I feel like I’m just bleeding, or cumming, or screaming onto the page when I write. My mind twists up, and the story spills forth like filthy water from a used up sponge. Does your story seduce you all over again? Does it terrify you? Excite you? Can you feel the pulse of your story? I can, I can feel it.

     Sometimes I wonder if I’m writing stories for pleasure, or because my mind can’t hold these stories. I also wonder if these stories are just  urges and fantasies that go unfulfilled. Is writing therapy? Is it art? Is it both? Who knows. And that’s what’s so fuckin’ exciting.

 

What I’m Trying To Do

by in Thoughts with a Sharp Tongue and tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

What the fuck is this guy trying to do?

Oh, this question is a familiar one. This blog, my body of work, myself, my actions. They’ve all been subject to consideration and even at times confusion, but there has always been one thing that constantly stands out about me. I don’t like rules. Never did. I feel…confined by them, constricted, claustrophobic. Rules. A lot of good they’ve done me in the writing industry. A lot of good they did thousands of would be authors. I don’t like their rules, the publishers, the literary magazines, the agents. Their rules piss me off.

I’ve been trying to get published for…eight years now. Eight fuckin’ years. And I know it takes a long time. And I know I have the talent. But things just don’t pan out. A sob story? Hardly. A cautionary tale? Completely.

I got tired of authors telling me to pick a new profession. I got tired of literary agents telling me to stuff my manuscript up my ass because it wouldn’t make them enough money to buy that golden dildo they’ve always wanted. I got tired of publishing houses NEVER even telling my they didn’t want my shit. I have had enough, and I’ve decided to make my own rules.

That’s what this blog is all about. I will deliver personal musings and shit like that, but I will show you what one author goes through to write a book from start to finish. My ideas, my drawings, my struggles, my triumphs, my joy, my pain. I’ll jab a fucking pen into my neck and bleed all of my darkest ideas and inner thoughts on a webpage for all of you to read. I will describe books that I write and proofread in detail, and show you what it’s like to write a book from idea, to published work. That’s where I’m different. That’s where I break the rules.

A lot of authors are private, whimpy little fucks that need specific conditions to write, and want to be hidden from the eyes of society. No, not me. I write books for the beasts inside us all, and if I hide  my own monsters from you as I write, what the fuck am I but a pathetic hypocrite, suckling curdled milk from the tired tit called the internet. No, I’ll write like I fuck. Like I fight. Like I bleed. I’ll show you what a book is from the inside out, and you’ll love every second of it.

So. Read this blog, if you will, and you will find out what it is like to feel joy and rage in the same day as you force yourself to kill a character you developed in your head. Give birth to a novel, and tear it to shreds before you begin. You will see me in my purest form- when I’m writing, and you will watch with delight as I suffer, or thrive. Get ready, you motherfuckers.

This is unlike anything you have ever seen before.